Angry.

I'm angry today. I was angry yesterday too, but at least I still had hope.

My leg is injured. I can't pinpoint if it's IT band pain or some kind of shin splint. 

I've been searching the internet trying to find SOMEONE that has pain in the same or similar place.  I visited a running store yesterday that suggested IT band pain and I purchased a foam roller. As I've been rolling, I've realized the pain is different than I was able to explain.
 

I found this drawing and can identify now that my pain is in the Tibialis anterior muscle. Foam rolling down the side/front of my leg is EXCRUCIATING.   It doesn't hurt all the time, just when I put pressure on the ball of my foot. It doesn't hurt to go up and down stairs, it doesn't hurt to walk except about every 15th step. 

I feel like I COULD go running. But is it worth the pain I might experience just to prove I can still do it?




Now I'm just angry.

I'm angry that everything I've read says to rest until it's better. I want someone to tell me to RUN THROUGH THE PAIN. I want someone to tell me a magic stretch or pill that will take the pain away.  I do NOT want to let myself down with the races I have coming up.

I'm angry I wound up skipping my 10 mile run this weekend. I was so excited to go, I was excited to see what my time would be. I've been so happy to see my training run times going down from races I've run in the past.

I'm angry because I feel like I've let myself, my family & friends and all of you down. I still plan on running my races, but I don't think my times will be anything special.

I'm angry because I'm sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else's success. While I am HAPPY for them, I have been working my TAIL off to accomplish something too. But instead of running a great exhilarating 10 miles today, I've been eating all.the.things and moping.

I'm just angry.

/pity party