This was almost my un-doing on Friday.
It's my (former life) most favorite frosting recipe. And in this batch, I replaced the vanilla extract with peppermint. Peppermint chocolate is (was?) my favorite flavor combination. In my favorite frosting. Why did I do this?! I've been trying to use up the sugary treats in my pantry by making delicious desserts for my parents' group that meets Friday night. I thought "I've been 'sober' for 7 weeks now, I surely can handle this!"
BOY WAS I WRONG! My hubby found me in the kitchen, staring at my frosting covered hands. I felt like Jasper in the party part of "New Moon" (yes, Twilight fan, Team Jacob if it matters) - desperately wanting it, but knowing it just wasn't okay. I KNEW I couldn't blow seven weeks without sugar, but I wanted it SO BADLY. I'd
like to believe I'm strong enough to say no, but peppermint chocolate
frosting has a LOUD voice! I'm hoping to get to a place where it's just
a whisper.
Then I started thinking. This "experiment" is almost over - my eight week detox comes to an end on December 16. I've completed six weeks without sugar. Still, the cravings are there. At times, the cravings are bad. I have planned to have wedding cake next weekend and now I wonder if I will be able to handle it! Will I be able to have a few bites and stop, or will the "old" me come out in a big way and devour all the sugar in sight?
So to my friends who have quit before me - do the cravings go away? Once an addict, always an addict? I need a little perspective! Will I always turn into a lunatic at the smell of sugary goodness?!
Don't get me wrong, I know I'm much healthier now. I feel better, I'm looking better - but I still crave that something sweet after meals.
In the end, I DID NOT cheat, I didn't have any sugar on Friday. My hubby caught me just in time and started saying (in a VERY insistent voice) "Wash your hands! Wash your hands!", which I did. I don't know that I could say that I didn't have sugar if he hadn't walked in at that moment.
Good on you for washing your hands and good on your husband for supporting you!
ReplyDeleteA couple of things that I find useful when cravings hit. I tend to find myself asking: "is this really what I want to be my undoing?" So far the answer is no. I'm yet to find that delectable treat the justifies breaking all my hard work.
Also, as you know I've still be indulging in a block of chocolate each week with my husband. It's strictly only on Friday nights. Although it means I'm not technically "sugarfree" it really does help me get through those cravings. I just have to remind myself that by the time Friday clicks around I'll allow myself to have some chocolate.
Maybe now you are on week 7, you could try something like this. It could be a static treat (like mine - always remains the same). Or at the start of each week you could say - my one thing that I'm going to allow this week is (wedding cake for eg). That way all other temptations fall by the wayside.
Food (literally) for thought :)