Updates & What's Up Next

Well it's been awhile. Sorry about that! Things have been CRAZY around this house between trying to find a new house and getting ready for the baby (as much as possible knowing we are moving before she comes!)

Yes, if you caught that, it is a SHE!  I am 25 weeks this week. I can hardly believe it because time is moving so.fast!







I don't have any perfect way to remember, but if memory serves me, by this time in my pregnancy with my first two, I had already gained 25 lbs. So far this time, I have only gained approximately 15! I have tried to keep moving, although running just feels downright awful now. I can sprint (I should say "sprint" for me now means max of 5.5 on the treadmill!) for a few minutes, but then my hips start to feel all out of whack and I have to slow way back down.  I'm trying to keep lifting a little, DEFINITELY doing squats (they are supposed to be super beneficial for childbirth!)

Haha excuse the face. 

My food choices have been.... less than stellar. I find afternoons are the hardest and I have fallen back into a frenzied "eat all the things" place if I have any one little treat in that time. I am doing a "Whole7" with a few friends. That is usually enough time for me to reset my cravings, get my eating right and feel better (maybe my sleep will be better too!) Seven days should be enough of a reset but not enough for my body to get the the scary weight loss/stop eating place that I've gotten to the last few rounds I've attempted.

I stocked up today on veggies, almond butter, eggs and greens. Hoping to get to Whole Foods to get bacon (yay!) and some other protein sources.

So that's the update for now! Nothing amazing going on for sure.  I will try to update how this Whole7 goes, though., once we get started. :-)

Molly

I THOUGHT I could beat the humidity yesterday. I was out of the house by 6:45, drove to the lake and started my run by 7:11.  The humidity? It BEAT me there!  I had planned to run 6-7 miles, but after a few short moments, I knew I couldn't go that far without water (and I hadn't planned to bring my water belt because I didn't think I would need it on a 6 mile run!) 

I struggled through my first two miles, adding in walking and there wasn't a MOMENT of delightful running feeling. Between the humidity and the cotton I was chewing (seriously, it was ridiculous of me to think I could run without carrying water!! I know that now!) I decided to JUST make it around the lake - if I could JUST make it around the lake that would be approximately 3 miles.  

While I was struggling, I started thinking about my races in October (MO Cowbell and the Halloween 10K!) How I am absolutely determined to PR these races. How much I want to feel that "runner's high" feeling when I cross the finish line, instead of the utter despair I was feeling currently.   I thought back to a time when I felt great working out - when it seemed to come "easily" (although let's be honest, it doesn't come easily, we work harder and it gets easier). 

And I landed on a time I remember DISTINCTLY during my Whole30.  April 23, day 25 of our Whole30. I was on day 58 of the Jamie Eason LiveFit Training.  

I remember doing the preacher curl then getting down for my (dreaded) pushups. And then, I remember being SHOCKED that 12 REAL pushups - you know, on my toes and coming down to 90 degrees - were actually manageable. Forget manageable, it was - dare I say - easy?!

 That moment is the ONE that I look to with fondness during my Whole30.  The fuel I was putting in my body was actually helping me - making me stronger!  I was able to lift heavier, feel less pain afterwards and my whole performance was increased. 

Fast forward to this past week:

• Emotional highs and lows. 
• Exhausted by afternoon (requiring either more coffee or a nap!). 
• CRABBY. 
• Body aches and pains. 
• Binging. 

The dreaded "daily life" symptoms of a poor diet.  

So as much as I DESPISE (and boy do I despise it!) doing Whole30, I think I need to find a way to get there. ASAP.  

I have these races that I have paid for coming up. I paid good money, I am beginning my running training.... but why on this good green Earth would I waste time training if I don't bother to put the fuel in my body that I KNOW will help me perform my best?   

I don't suspect it will help, I don't wonder. 

I KNOW. 

Because I've done it. 

I wish I could be one of those people who understands and thrives on moderation, but it's just not a concept that I understand.  I'm rules, I'm a black and white guideline person.  

I haven't decided if I am going to do a strict Whole30 or just "clean eating."  If you've been following along, I was at my lowest weight back when we did clean eating (lowest body fat % too!) but lately it's just SO HARD for me to put that much effort in. In that respect, Whole30 is easier. Here are the foods you can eat, eat them.   So I'm going to spend the next few days talking with my husband, figuring out what I want to get out of this (increased athletic performance!! emotional stability!) and go from there. 

So to get to where I want to be - what do I want to do? What am I willing to do?  I've given up sugar and wine and pasta for a month before, what's stopping me now?? It's all me, all in my head. And now it's time to get OUT of my head!

Until then, drink up the wine! 

Sloth.

Seriously in a phase of sloth in my life.  I haven't worked out in over a week. I haven't watched my food intake *at all.* It's birthday week for my daughter and I have been in crafting and food purgatory. The parade was Friday, which means my house is FULL of Tootsie Rolls and banana Laffy Taffy.... 

but I'm sick of it. I'm sick of myself! I am going to give myself through to slip and have treats, but come Sunday? I'm doing a short Whole30 before a quick road trip with my kiddos. I need to get back to the gym (that will probably not happen until Monday but I'm going to try to make it happen this week).  I have joined a few new fitness motivation groups, but I'm feeling all guilty because I just.don't.care this week. 

I still struggle with binging. And self image. And moderation. Ohhhhh moderation, you are SO elusive to me!! I thought my Whole30 would help, but it obviously hasn't. 

I have been intending to up my cardio work, with two races coming up in October, but I haven't yet. After we get home from our road trip, it's on! Cardio rat here I come. 

The week we return, my kids are both in summer camp. I am going to try - regardless of the weather! - to get running again. OUTSIDE. This fall, both kids will be in school on Tuesday and Thursday - I will have those days for long runs (oh Heavenly fall long runs!!).  I intend to PR in a SERIOUS way on these races! 

My plan is already to do another Whole30 for the month before the races. It's not a sustainable lifestyle for me, but I can definitely manage it for a month if it's going to get me that PR!! 

So for now, S-L-O-T-H. I am going to get back to it, I really am. This is NOT who I am (except for birthday party week :-)  I'll post about that on Monday because who DOESN'T need to see pictures of another Frozen party ;-) 

Here we go again!!!

I miss this chick...

 I have felt like COMPLETE crap since my Whole30 ended. I've posted a few times, I've wallowed a lot more than that. I feel like I have no willpower now.  I don't even track my food obsessively in MFP anymore - because Whole30 was SO freeing about not doing it.  But when you're eating cheese and crackers, pasta and drinking half and half - and let's not get started about the amount of alcohol I've been drinking - tracking becomes MUCH more important.

I miss the clear headedness. I miss waking up refreshed. I miss not having any sore joints. I FELT stronger. I FELT thinner/less bloated and my head felt clearer.

Almost everyday I wake up and think "I'm going to eat Whole30-like today" and I immediately break it when I pour half and half into my coffee. Or when I lick the knife I just used to make my daughter's peanut butter sandwich.  Then I figure, "I slashed one tire, let's take care of the other three!"

So instead of beating myself up, mentally then at the gym, physically. . . instead of feeling guilt and denial that my eating DOES affect my life -- I'm going to DO something about it. I'm learning the truth - you really CAN'T outrun a bad diet!!  I can burn 500 calories or more a day in a workout, but if I come home and drink beer, eat chips and gorge on pasta - I might as well have stayed home.

Tomorrow I will start a Whole14. Just two weeks, 14 days, of "Whole30" eating.  I will go back to the basics of it.  Then, maybe on the flip side when I remember how GOOD it feels and how I DO have the willpower -- maybe then I can stick with something MODERATE.

I have 10 workouts left in the Jamie Eason training.  I apparently don't know how to deadlift because I hurt my neck on Tuesday doing them. I was out of commission yesterday. I PROBABLY could have gone back today but we had other things for school to get done. Tomorrow, I will head back.  Once I'm done with this training I am so excited to start running again. Maybe I'll start using all of those interval running workouts I have pinned on Pinterest! And of course, after a 12 week lifting program, I will be continuing with my training.

But for tonight, I drink up. 

Let's Try Again - Jamie Eason Day 1 - Tri/Chest

I did Jamie Eason's LiveFit trainer, day 1, AGAIN today. 

My weights were drastically different. 

Doing flyes last week with 10lbs, 5 this week.  

Dumbbell bench presses with 15 last week, 7.5 this week.  

I feel like I could have pushed myself MORE but I also don't want to blow out my arm my first day back. 

And surprisingly, this afternoon, my arm feels BETTER.  

What kind of crazy business is this?! I haven't had the throbbing, dull, constant pain today that I've had for a week now. Who would have thought I NEEDED to lift to make it better?! 

So back to the grind. Day 2 tomorrow, Day 3 on Wednesday then I will have to sneak Day 4 in sometime either in the evening or this weekend, since my daughter is off school on Friday. 

So hurray for good news, finally! I'm working on getting my eating back in check after a desperately horrible food weekend.  

Tonight's dinner is my very favorite -  Tamari Honey Chicken with Broccoli & Almond Butter Sauce. 

Have you ever found that working out actually helped an injury for you?   Still so surprised at how today went!

Ooooohhhh boy.

Loving my FitNut family this month!

Start: 170

First weigh in: 167.5

Second weigh in: 166

It's still a good 10lbs over where I'm comfortable, but I'm at least going in the right direction finally. 

I have been using my Garmin inside for activities like my cardio and circuit classes, having dance parties with my littles and playing Wii Zumba (411 calories burnt today, whoop whoop!).  Tomorrow, with the temperatures supposedly hitting mid 50's, I am looking forward to getting outside for a run! 

Goals for this week: 

1. MORE VEGGIES! 
2. More consistent eating - I've found that on days I work out, I'm at less than a net of 1200 calories by bedtime. Which leads me to eat crap to "make up" my calories - NOT what I need to be doing! One of my teammates just suggested dividing my daily caloric allowance to give me a meal "goal". I think this is a great idea! I am going to try to actually stick to this!   
3. Working out 3 times at the gym/outside, 2 times at home.  Just need to get the miles in, especially since we're having a little challenge to see who can log the most miles this week!

So to accomplish #1, I am going to make sure I have salad prepared so I have NO excuses not to serve it with every meal. I have to maximize my intake, especially since we've gotten some AMAZING co-op deliveries lately! 

#2 will be more difficult. If I divide my daily calories (1720) by 4, I get 430 calories per meal. 430 calories for BREAKFAST!??  That will be a huge challenge!! I am definitely going to be challenged by this one.  Then will be attemping 2-215 calorie snacks.  This is my BIGGEST goal for the week. 

#3 should be pretty easy. My daughter is off school on Monday and has a half day on Friday but I should be able to get my workouts in for sure!

So while I'm not thrilled, I'm still at it!! 

Lost.

So, half marathon last Sunday.

One run - Wednesday - this week.

10K on Sunday.

I'm gaining weight like nobody's business.  I am stuck over 160lbs and I can't get down to where I want to be. I'm in that place where I just want to give up. Throw in the towel. It's so much easier just to survive than to be healthy. Why IS that??

I KNOW what it takes to get there. I know I CAN do it. What is so hard about JUST DOING IT??

I'm still running, I lift when I can. I try to get all of my 10K steps in for the day.

The wake up moment? The size 10 work pants I had to go out and buy (because the 8s I fit into when I started in April were too small) and that now I feel like a sausage in those. In pants that I used to feel AWESOME wearing. And that I remember running and not feeling my hip-fat jiggle. Or my gut. And my feet didn't hurt from carrying more weight. And I felt like I could accomplish something - anything - when I was succeeding.

So folks, that settles it. I'm back on the wagon. If I need to write it all down, that's what I'll do. But I just can't continue to feel this way!! I'm going to make sure to look into Jamie Eason's recipes and menus to make sure I'm making appropriate food choices and food pairing choices. I'm going to cut out the treats (THE TREATS, OH THE TREATS have been insane lately!!).  Cut back on beer. (not wine, I love my wine too much for that! <--- maybe that's the attitude that is keeping me fat, eh??) DRINK MY WATER!!  I am so so bad about drinking enough water!

Weigh ins are on Tuesdays this month. I'm in a place where I EXPECT to gain every week. It's just not ok to be here. My goal is to lose weight this week, even just 1/2 lb. And to KEEP losing, because something has to change!!

Vacation, people!

Back from vacation!! I'll admit, vacation with two small kids isn't as relaxing as I'd hope, but the sun and sand was ahhhmazing!

It was, however, a LOT of indulging in food and alcohol!  I had my first (2) Moscow mules before we even left for the beach. 

Then we started with our "traditional" beach drink - Lime-a-ritas & Grand Marnier!

I did go for a run on Sunday morning. It was short-ish, just 3 miles, but the HUMIDITY! It was killer!!  I feel like I walked outside and started sweating! Decent time, though. 

We ate out a lot. I made decent decisions, for the most part. Especially after I ate Pizza Hut on Monday night. I won't even tell you how MUCH Pizza Hut I ate, because it was disgusting. Let's just say I ate enough that I laid in bed that night trying to figure out if it would be ok to make myself get sick just to get it OUT of my body!  After that night, I pledged to make wiser decisions. Not GREAT but I definitely didn't make that mistake again! Lots of fish and grilled chicken for the rest of the week.

Thursday I went out for a long run - 10 miles! It was a few rough first miles - I bartered with myself a lot. 

"Make it to two miles, then I'll turn around - giving me 4 miles" 

"Ok ok, go for 2.5"  

"if you can run 3, you might as well run 3.5" 

"well heck if you are feeling good enough to hit 3.5, you should definitely be able to make 4.5" 

And so on. I made it 5 miles out and turned around, coming back 5 miles. Not GREAT time, but I'm happy with it. 

I came home and weighed in that night (dumb move) at 168. The next morning, after lots of water, I was down to 164. My final September weigh in was 162.5. A GAIN again!! 

This definitely motivated me for a sprint!! 

I have a half marathon on Sunday so this week I am just trying to eat clean to get myself FEELING good when I run. It's been a ROUGH go the last few times. I can tell as soon as I start running when I haven't been fueling my body properly. I feel out of breath. Bulky. Clumsy. Slow. 

This week starts no caffeine/no alcohol. I am attempting to eat clean, at least 75% of the time.  So far so good. I turned to a run yesterday during stress (that run is in the next blog post!) instead of all.the.food. I am looking FORWARD to my run in the am, if only I can sleep through the night!

Tomorrow starts my next FitNut monthly challenge. I changed teams this time, to mix it up a little.  The physical challenge this month is burpees/planks/pushups. It should be interesting! I plan on doing a plank to fatigue tomorrow, then again at the end of the month to see how much progress I've made. 

And here's to the Fastest, Flattest half marathon this weekend!

Word of the week: Awesome.

AWESOME fitness week.
Not so awesome food week.

It all evens out, though, right?

That 10 mile run today was in the POURING rain. It was DELIGHTFUL. 

I may only run when it rains from now on. <3

Some awesome things this week: 

I fit into a dress I've had hanging in my closet since 2006. No kidding - 2006. Tags on and everything. I've tried it on a few times a year since then, no go. But Wednesday? Finally, it fit!

Saturday, I got to snuggle the sweetest baby boy ever. He's a teeny peanut and I ALMOST tried to convince my friends to let me "borrow" him. Babies make my heart happy! 


Saturday when I came home and got the mail, I had a package from a FitNut friend.  We were paired up in my first challenge and have kept up with each other ever since. She sent me a freaking HRM!  Today's run was scheduled to be 9 miles, but I went a whole extra mile because I was so excited to see my burn with the HRM! Thanks, Jenn!! 

Color Run next weekend. Vacation right around the corner. Halloween 10K in mid-October. I turn 32 next month.  Big things on my horizon, people. Big things!! Must.keep.focused!