Here we go again!!!

I miss this chick...

 I have felt like COMPLETE crap since my Whole30 ended. I've posted a few times, I've wallowed a lot more than that. I feel like I have no willpower now.  I don't even track my food obsessively in MFP anymore - because Whole30 was SO freeing about not doing it.  But when you're eating cheese and crackers, pasta and drinking half and half - and let's not get started about the amount of alcohol I've been drinking - tracking becomes MUCH more important.

I miss the clear headedness. I miss waking up refreshed. I miss not having any sore joints. I FELT stronger. I FELT thinner/less bloated and my head felt clearer.

Almost everyday I wake up and think "I'm going to eat Whole30-like today" and I immediately break it when I pour half and half into my coffee. Or when I lick the knife I just used to make my daughter's peanut butter sandwich.  Then I figure, "I slashed one tire, let's take care of the other three!"

So instead of beating myself up, mentally then at the gym, physically. . . instead of feeling guilt and denial that my eating DOES affect my life -- I'm going to DO something about it. I'm learning the truth - you really CAN'T outrun a bad diet!!  I can burn 500 calories or more a day in a workout, but if I come home and drink beer, eat chips and gorge on pasta - I might as well have stayed home.

Tomorrow I will start a Whole14. Just two weeks, 14 days, of "Whole30" eating.  I will go back to the basics of it.  Then, maybe on the flip side when I remember how GOOD it feels and how I DO have the willpower -- maybe then I can stick with something MODERATE.

I have 10 workouts left in the Jamie Eason training.  I apparently don't know how to deadlift because I hurt my neck on Tuesday doing them. I was out of commission yesterday. I PROBABLY could have gone back today but we had other things for school to get done. Tomorrow, I will head back.  Once I'm done with this training I am so excited to start running again. Maybe I'll start using all of those interval running workouts I have pinned on Pinterest! And of course, after a 12 week lifting program, I will be continuing with my training.

But for tonight, I drink up.