Molly

I THOUGHT I could beat the humidity yesterday. I was out of the house by 6:45, drove to the lake and started my run by 7:11.  The humidity? It BEAT me there!  I had planned to run 6-7 miles, but after a few short moments, I knew I couldn't go that far without water (and I hadn't planned to bring my water belt because I didn't think I would need it on a 6 mile run!) 

I struggled through my first two miles, adding in walking and there wasn't a MOMENT of delightful running feeling. Between the humidity and the cotton I was chewing (seriously, it was ridiculous of me to think I could run without carrying water!! I know that now!) I decided to JUST make it around the lake - if I could JUST make it around the lake that would be approximately 3 miles.  

While I was struggling, I started thinking about my races in October (MO Cowbell and the Halloween 10K!) How I am absolutely determined to PR these races. How much I want to feel that "runner's high" feeling when I cross the finish line, instead of the utter despair I was feeling currently.   I thought back to a time when I felt great working out - when it seemed to come "easily" (although let's be honest, it doesn't come easily, we work harder and it gets easier). 

And I landed on a time I remember DISTINCTLY during my Whole30.  April 23, day 25 of our Whole30. I was on day 58 of the Jamie Eason LiveFit Training.  

I remember doing the preacher curl then getting down for my (dreaded) pushups. And then, I remember being SHOCKED that 12 REAL pushups - you know, on my toes and coming down to 90 degrees - were actually manageable. Forget manageable, it was - dare I say - easy?!

 That moment is the ONE that I look to with fondness during my Whole30.  The fuel I was putting in my body was actually helping me - making me stronger!  I was able to lift heavier, feel less pain afterwards and my whole performance was increased. 

Fast forward to this past week:

• Emotional highs and lows. 
• Exhausted by afternoon (requiring either more coffee or a nap!). 
• CRABBY. 
• Body aches and pains. 
• Binging. 

The dreaded "daily life" symptoms of a poor diet.  

So as much as I DESPISE (and boy do I despise it!) doing Whole30, I think I need to find a way to get there. ASAP.  

I have these races that I have paid for coming up. I paid good money, I am beginning my running training.... but why on this good green Earth would I waste time training if I don't bother to put the fuel in my body that I KNOW will help me perform my best?   

I don't suspect it will help, I don't wonder. 

I KNOW. 

Because I've done it. 

I wish I could be one of those people who understands and thrives on moderation, but it's just not a concept that I understand.  I'm rules, I'm a black and white guideline person.  

I haven't decided if I am going to do a strict Whole30 or just "clean eating."  If you've been following along, I was at my lowest weight back when we did clean eating (lowest body fat % too!) but lately it's just SO HARD for me to put that much effort in. In that respect, Whole30 is easier. Here are the foods you can eat, eat them.   So I'm going to spend the next few days talking with my husband, figuring out what I want to get out of this (increased athletic performance!! emotional stability!) and go from there. 

So to get to where I want to be - what do I want to do? What am I willing to do?  I've given up sugar and wine and pasta for a month before, what's stopping me now?? It's all me, all in my head. And now it's time to get OUT of my head!

Until then, drink up the wine! 

Transformation Tuesday (on a Wednesday)

(said in WyldStyle's voice, of course...) 

Feb 2011 - July 2014

Sometimes, I just need a reminder of how far I've come. 

Sloth.

Seriously in a phase of sloth in my life.  I haven't worked out in over a week. I haven't watched my food intake *at all.* It's birthday week for my daughter and I have been in crafting and food purgatory. The parade was Friday, which means my house is FULL of Tootsie Rolls and banana Laffy Taffy.... 

but I'm sick of it. I'm sick of myself! I am going to give myself through to slip and have treats, but come Sunday? I'm doing a short Whole30 before a quick road trip with my kiddos. I need to get back to the gym (that will probably not happen until Monday but I'm going to try to make it happen this week).  I have joined a few new fitness motivation groups, but I'm feeling all guilty because I just.don't.care this week. 

I still struggle with binging. And self image. And moderation. Ohhhhh moderation, you are SO elusive to me!! I thought my Whole30 would help, but it obviously hasn't. 

I have been intending to up my cardio work, with two races coming up in October, but I haven't yet. After we get home from our road trip, it's on! Cardio rat here I come. 

The week we return, my kids are both in summer camp. I am going to try - regardless of the weather! - to get running again. OUTSIDE. This fall, both kids will be in school on Tuesday and Thursday - I will have those days for long runs (oh Heavenly fall long runs!!).  I intend to PR in a SERIOUS way on these races! 

My plan is already to do another Whole30 for the month before the races. It's not a sustainable lifestyle for me, but I can definitely manage it for a month if it's going to get me that PR!! 

So for now, S-L-O-T-H. I am going to get back to it, I really am. This is NOT who I am (except for birthday party week :-)  I'll post about that on Monday because who DOESN'T need to see pictures of another Frozen party ;-)