HALFWAY!! Oh, and a long run.

HALFWAY DONE WITH WHOLE30!! 

I had a rough weekend (see this post) so I did slip, but not as much as "old me" may have.  More on that later. First off, Sara and I met up for another long run on Sunday! 

We both had 9 miles on our training plan, so away we went. It was a GORGEOUS morning with almost perfect running weather. I was severely dehydrated and probably under-nourished from Saturday that I felt like I was running with lead legs. I honestly wasn't sure I would make it to 9, but we did it!

The pace is about 40 seconds off of my average mile/min that I will need in order to PR the race, but after the week I've had, I'll take it. I am going to go on at least one "longer" run this week (hoping for 6 miles tomorrow morning) and go for a speedy run on Thursday (after my new "yogalates" class!) to get some more mileage in. Then Sunday, we'll aim for 10!! After that, people - it's TAPER time already!! What the what?!?!  This training season is going SO QUICKLY!! 

Day 11! 

Breakfast: Eggs, bacon, blueberries.

Lunch: Leftovers. Salmon, carrots and an orange (Lunch brought to you by the color orange obviously!) 

MIdafternoon: Lara bar, roasted rosemary almonds. 

Dinner: (This was my daughter's plate! I was so hungry I ate quickly so my daughter got seconds of everything so I could take a picture  Dry rubbed grassfed beef roast, mashed potatoes (no dairy) and green beans.

This was day 12!! I was off by a day!

Day 12: 

breakfast: 3 egg muffins

Lunch: 3 hb eggs (only the whites, I don't like the yolk). olives. cucumbers. peppers. blueberries. 

Dinner: again made pizza for my family and I ate sausage, onions, portobello mushrooms, peppers, on zucchini noodles with a homemade marinara.

 Day 13: 

Today was bad for emotions. I was so nervous for the vet appt I only drank 2 glasses of coffee & ate a Lara bar. I had lunch at 2:30 (hot dogs and pickles) and a glass of wine with dinner. Dinner was a seafood stew with tomato-saffron broth. The menu didn't say rice but there it was  thought I was staying mostly compliant. My poor pup, I miss him desperately.

Day 14:

Woke up, ran 9 miles. Came home and was too nauseous to eat. I ate about 1/4 sweet potato with cinnamon. 

Lunch: Chipotle. I am still so out of it that I ordered CORN SALSA! WTHeck?!?! So I spent the first 5 minutes of lunch picking individual corn off of my barbacoa salad. *duh*

Dinner: Omelette with onions and peppers, homemade hash browns and Pederson's bacon.

Day 15: 

Breakfast: Banana & coffee

Lunch: peppers, zucchini, mushrooms and onions sauteed with chicken sausage. grapes.

Dinner: balsamic crockpot chicken, giant pile of zucchini.

The last few days I have walked numbly through, barely eating. Mostly because all the things I wanted to eat (pb&j, mac and cheese - comfort foods really) aren't compliant. So instead of completely derailing my progress, I have been doing the opposite - barely eating at all. I am trying to get better about forcing myself to eat, but it's just so hard right now when all I want to do is fall face first into a cake. 

*************************************************************

Soooooooo stayed mostly compliant through a very difficult time, which makes me pretty proud. I'm usually a severe stress eater, and it would have been easy to get something sometime in the last three days. It would have been easy to just throw back a few beers to numb the pain.  I did have wine, but ONE glass (one Saturday, one Sunday) instead of half a bottle. 

My knee felt AWESOME on Sunday, which was the one bright shining moment (aside from the wonderful company, of course!). Even at our turn around I didn't feel the pain like I have been feeling, which was SOOOO encouraging!! 

I wasn't THAT off diet on Saturday night but I could FEEL the difference in my run on Sunday.  Now, to be fair, that may be a result of dehydration, low calorie intake etc. But it was enough that I am definitely staying on track with my Whole30 through my races, even though I will technically be "done" by September 23.  I will add in a few things once my 30 days is up, but I will largely remain grain- and dairy-free until after my 10K on October 12th! 

Checking in

Halfway through day 2 and the only thing I am feeling is EXHAUSTED. My heart RACED last night from the time I got into bed at 9 until I finally fell asleep at 1am.  Then I woke up at 3:00 for another 45 minutes and was up for the day by 6:45.  I don't remember this from last time at all.  Just hoping to stay focused enough to get things done today so I can move on. 

I remembered how physically bankrupt I was the first few weeks so I plan to take my runs easy - not shorten them but definitely go a little slower and stay inside until the INSANE heat strike is over here in St. Louis!  Yoga today wasn't a high calorie burn but I needed the stretch in my hips to loosen up that darned IT band!

So day 1 under my belt. I am breaking a few rules this time -
* using half and half *I know from my previous Whole30 that I do not have a reaction to dairy. I am limiting myself to 2 cups max, but I know from the last time that by day 14, I will stop requiring coffee for the most part.
* logging my food - ONLY to ensure I am eating enough carbs to sustain my half marathon training.
* weighing myself. Because I like it. 

Molly

I THOUGHT I could beat the humidity yesterday. I was out of the house by 6:45, drove to the lake and started my run by 7:11.  The humidity? It BEAT me there!  I had planned to run 6-7 miles, but after a few short moments, I knew I couldn't go that far without water (and I hadn't planned to bring my water belt because I didn't think I would need it on a 6 mile run!) 

I struggled through my first two miles, adding in walking and there wasn't a MOMENT of delightful running feeling. Between the humidity and the cotton I was chewing (seriously, it was ridiculous of me to think I could run without carrying water!! I know that now!) I decided to JUST make it around the lake - if I could JUST make it around the lake that would be approximately 3 miles.  

While I was struggling, I started thinking about my races in October (MO Cowbell and the Halloween 10K!) How I am absolutely determined to PR these races. How much I want to feel that "runner's high" feeling when I cross the finish line, instead of the utter despair I was feeling currently.   I thought back to a time when I felt great working out - when it seemed to come "easily" (although let's be honest, it doesn't come easily, we work harder and it gets easier). 

And I landed on a time I remember DISTINCTLY during my Whole30.  April 23, day 25 of our Whole30. I was on day 58 of the Jamie Eason LiveFit Training.  

I remember doing the preacher curl then getting down for my (dreaded) pushups. And then, I remember being SHOCKED that 12 REAL pushups - you know, on my toes and coming down to 90 degrees - were actually manageable. Forget manageable, it was - dare I say - easy?!

 That moment is the ONE that I look to with fondness during my Whole30.  The fuel I was putting in my body was actually helping me - making me stronger!  I was able to lift heavier, feel less pain afterwards and my whole performance was increased. 

Fast forward to this past week:

• Emotional highs and lows. 
• Exhausted by afternoon (requiring either more coffee or a nap!). 
• CRABBY. 
• Body aches and pains. 
• Binging. 

The dreaded "daily life" symptoms of a poor diet.  

So as much as I DESPISE (and boy do I despise it!) doing Whole30, I think I need to find a way to get there. ASAP.  

I have these races that I have paid for coming up. I paid good money, I am beginning my running training.... but why on this good green Earth would I waste time training if I don't bother to put the fuel in my body that I KNOW will help me perform my best?   

I don't suspect it will help, I don't wonder. 

I KNOW. 

Because I've done it. 

I wish I could be one of those people who understands and thrives on moderation, but it's just not a concept that I understand.  I'm rules, I'm a black and white guideline person.  

I haven't decided if I am going to do a strict Whole30 or just "clean eating."  If you've been following along, I was at my lowest weight back when we did clean eating (lowest body fat % too!) but lately it's just SO HARD for me to put that much effort in. In that respect, Whole30 is easier. Here are the foods you can eat, eat them.   So I'm going to spend the next few days talking with my husband, figuring out what I want to get out of this (increased athletic performance!! emotional stability!) and go from there. 

So to get to where I want to be - what do I want to do? What am I willing to do?  I've given up sugar and wine and pasta for a month before, what's stopping me now?? It's all me, all in my head. And now it's time to get OUT of my head!

Until then, drink up the wine! 

Sloth.

Seriously in a phase of sloth in my life.  I haven't worked out in over a week. I haven't watched my food intake *at all.* It's birthday week for my daughter and I have been in crafting and food purgatory. The parade was Friday, which means my house is FULL of Tootsie Rolls and banana Laffy Taffy.... 

but I'm sick of it. I'm sick of myself! I am going to give myself through to slip and have treats, but come Sunday? I'm doing a short Whole30 before a quick road trip with my kiddos. I need to get back to the gym (that will probably not happen until Monday but I'm going to try to make it happen this week).  I have joined a few new fitness motivation groups, but I'm feeling all guilty because I just.don't.care this week. 

I still struggle with binging. And self image. And moderation. Ohhhhh moderation, you are SO elusive to me!! I thought my Whole30 would help, but it obviously hasn't. 

I have been intending to up my cardio work, with two races coming up in October, but I haven't yet. After we get home from our road trip, it's on! Cardio rat here I come. 

The week we return, my kids are both in summer camp. I am going to try - regardless of the weather! - to get running again. OUTSIDE. This fall, both kids will be in school on Tuesday and Thursday - I will have those days for long runs (oh Heavenly fall long runs!!).  I intend to PR in a SERIOUS way on these races! 

My plan is already to do another Whole30 for the month before the races. It's not a sustainable lifestyle for me, but I can definitely manage it for a month if it's going to get me that PR!! 

So for now, S-L-O-T-H. I am going to get back to it, I really am. This is NOT who I am (except for birthday party week :-)  I'll post about that on Monday because who DOESN'T need to see pictures of another Frozen party ;-) 

Crossroads.

I've been sitting here, staring at a blank screen for about a half an hour. I'm researching, reading and thinking through my next steps. 

I've completed a Whole30.  When it was over, I fell off the wagon.  No, I take that back, I swan dove off the sucker.  We left for vacation and never looked back.  I spent a month with little restriction (although I will say, we aren't usually very far from at least a "clean" eating plan) and gained back all of my weight, felt awful, etc. 

So I started another Whole30 (intending to do a "Whole14") last Friday.  Today is Day 5. I'm feeling good, but my anxiety is THROUGH THE ROOF. Not sure if it's W30 related or just life in general.  I had no headaches, I'm getting stuffy again (my whole family got horrible colds about week 2 last time), but I'm having no lightheadedness this time. 

But that brings me to my food today.  Eggs with bacon mixed in, avocado and coffee.  Lunch (was STARVING - had a 570 cal burn workout then took the kids swimming!) 1/2 spaghetti squash with homemade marinara & meatballs, salad with olives and Tessamae's balsamic dressing and a bowl of applesauce with cinnamon.  I made "ice cream" for my kids - frozen watermelon, coconut water and a touch of coconut milk for creaminess. (NOTE: THIS IS NOT WHOLE30 COMPLIANT, even if the ingredients are. It's SWYPO!)  I had some - you know why? Because I'm slowly realizing, I need to learn to live within my guidelines. Maybe finding an amazing delicious summer treat (that isn't "real" ice cream) will help me stop feeling "left out" of all the occasions that there is REAL ice cream.  

I was faced again with one of these situations at dinner. I went to get my co-op produce and left hubby and kids to make dinner. They put together a DELICIOUS chicken salad. My almost-6 year old made most of the salad herself - peeling carrots and shredding them, putting cheese on them and adding olives. When I walked in, she stopped me at the door and, with the saddest eyes ever, said "Mommy -- I accidentally put cheese on your salad."   Now I had two options - 1) try to pick all the shredded cheese off the salad to "preserve" my Whole30 (which would have broken my daughter's heart) or 2) Go with it knowing that I do NOT react to dairy (thank you, first Whole30). I chose #2. Because you know what, sometimes, food will have ingredients that I don't know about. Sometimes I will choose to eat "non compliant" food. Sometimes I will WANT to eat non compliant food. 

So I will continue to eat "Whole30" but I will use the remainder of my 2 weeks to keep my eyes open for opportunities for moderation.  Some accidental cheese, a paleo treat with my kids... 

I just can't continue the cycle I'm on - Whole30, junky eating, Whole30, etc. I don't believe it was intended to be used this way and I want to try to get to the root of my eating issues. I'm hoping to be more MENTALLY aware this time than I was last time. 

Sorry if a lot of this post is rambling - I really don't know where I stand or what my plan is going forward, but getting it "on paper" will really help me!

Meal Planning and workouts

I'm going through another food overhaul. Remember how I mentioned I need to clean up my eating in my last post? Well, I was about mid-way through reading It Starts With Food. Since finishing the book, I have decided my family will be doing a Whole30, starting as soon as I can find the nerve. :-)

I'm trying not to say "I want to wait until..." because there is ALWAYS something else. I want to wait until - after my mom's next visit, after our cheese is gone, after Easter, after 4th of July, after school starts - before you know it, it's September!  So I know I just need to do it now. Hopefully, we can do the Whole30 and discover exactly what makes us tick.  I don't want to live a life of extremes, but I do know that we all need a good reset.  Lots of junk (sugar, alcohol, grains) is plaguing my family right now. My son would be THRILLED if he could eat cereal, toast and a scone every morning for breakfast. His little heart is going to be broken at the lack of O's for awhile. But ya know what? He'll adapt.  He luckily also loves "eggies" so I know there will be LOTS of those on our menu.  He's good with veggies too!  The tough cookie with veggies will be my lovely daughter.  She is very good about eating whatever protein we give her, but veggies can sometimes be a fight. Lately, she's been a rockstar, so I'm hoping that awesome rockstar-ness continues.

Obviously I know I can't control every morsel in their (or even my hubby's!) mouths.  I am just trying to give them the best foundation I can.

Yesterday's leg day stats.

I am still working through the Jamie Eason plan. Leg day yesterday was KILLER. I haven't felt this much (good) pain in awhile!  Today was back/bicep and I am not feeling the pain yet, but I feel STRONGER.  The weather yesterday and today is unbelievable, so we've been outside nonstop. Little Guy and I went to the zoo yesterday and enjoyed the sun. Then we played kickball as a family after dinner!   Today, he and I went to the lake on a walk after the Y, then played outside until lunch. We're hanging out inside for a little rest, but will head outside shortly to watch for big sis to come home on the bus.  Then it will be MORE playing outside. :-) I love this weather (curses on the SNOW that is predicted for tomorrow!!)

Hoping to get my body fat tested tomorrow. Last time I had it checked, I was at 28% - Yikes!! Hoping Whole30 will help that aspect too.

All in all, I am feeling good. I spent our outside time perusing  Well Fed and Well Fed 2 for recipes. Most of them - mouthwatering. Truly excited to revolutionize our eating for awhile!!

Lost.

So, half marathon last Sunday.

One run - Wednesday - this week.

10K on Sunday.

I'm gaining weight like nobody's business.  I am stuck over 160lbs and I can't get down to where I want to be. I'm in that place where I just want to give up. Throw in the towel. It's so much easier just to survive than to be healthy. Why IS that??

I KNOW what it takes to get there. I know I CAN do it. What is so hard about JUST DOING IT??

I'm still running, I lift when I can. I try to get all of my 10K steps in for the day.

The wake up moment? The size 10 work pants I had to go out and buy (because the 8s I fit into when I started in April were too small) and that now I feel like a sausage in those. In pants that I used to feel AWESOME wearing. And that I remember running and not feeling my hip-fat jiggle. Or my gut. And my feet didn't hurt from carrying more weight. And I felt like I could accomplish something - anything - when I was succeeding.

So folks, that settles it. I'm back on the wagon. If I need to write it all down, that's what I'll do. But I just can't continue to feel this way!! I'm going to make sure to look into Jamie Eason's recipes and menus to make sure I'm making appropriate food choices and food pairing choices. I'm going to cut out the treats (THE TREATS, OH THE TREATS have been insane lately!!).  Cut back on beer. (not wine, I love my wine too much for that! <--- maybe that's the attitude that is keeping me fat, eh??) DRINK MY WATER!!  I am so so bad about drinking enough water!

Weigh ins are on Tuesdays this month. I'm in a place where I EXPECT to gain every week. It's just not ok to be here. My goal is to lose weight this week, even just 1/2 lb. And to KEEP losing, because something has to change!!

Seriously?

So my minor ouchie from last Saturday? NOT so minor. I am still hurting.  In fact, the pain is spreading. It's not worse by any means, but definitely spreading.  It started in my ankle. Then it moved to my calf. Migrated to the back of my knee (today I noticed a definitely swollen lump behind my knee). The height of the pain was Friday am - I went to sit down and go through some paperwork, leaned back and it felt like my whole quad flipped itself over, from my knee up to my hip. It was HORRENDOUS. Since then, my quad, the outside of my knee and my calf have been in pain.

Our camp site

I went to see my doctor (family medicine) on Friday, thinking he could help me if I did something serious. He gave me some muscle strengthening exercises and told me it should feel better in 3-4 days. Seriously? I'm fairly certain, as a runner, I don't need to strengthen my quads. And if it would heal in 3-4 days, why does it still hurt 8 days after I injured it???

So I may have to suck it up an go see an orthopedic doctor or a sports med doc.  I just know I can't go on like this. I'm so depressed when I can't work out! For me, this translates into eating ONE OF  EVERYTHING (sometimes 2-3 of everything)!

It doesn't hurt enough that I can't walk. My family went camping this weekend and we toured Meramec Caverns. It was a 1 1/4 mile walk through Missouri's largest public cavern. It was awesome to see what nature has done under there!  There were moments (52 steps up to the "wine room" formations!) that hurt but by and large it was an awesome adventure!  I did walk 13101 steps yesterday! However, for as much as I ate - that probably didn't offset much!

I've been trying to evaluate why I've felt so "blue" the last week - I really do think it's because I haven't been working out! It's been awhile since I haven't done *anything* as far as working out for more than a week at a time.

Camping staple...

Date night dinner... 

And of course, someone who's feeling this way (or ME when *I* feel this way) only wants comfort food. I haven't been motivated to cook anything or go anything good for myself.

Birthday treats at work... 

This MUST end.  I am going in the wrong direction. I was feeling great, FINALLY finding a routine that was working for me - and now this injury has set me back again!  Is this just what getting healthy entails?! Two steps forward and one step backward??

This week, I made a deal with a friend (Yes, Stacy, I'm putting this in writing!) that starting Monday we were going to do what we need to do to get healthy. Fixing our eating, start working out again, whatever that may be. For me, this week needs to involve a clean meal plan, lots and lots of water and hopefully some swimming to get myself at least MOVING.

Push Through or Find Something New?

Well there's a lot of orange on my chart this week. As in failure.  But there's enough green that I'm going to keep trying. 

I woke up Tuesday and did Insanity. Then my hubby and I went on a date (yay!) but were out until 12:30. So when 4:30 rolled around Wednesday morning, my alarm went off and I actually DID wake up, I thought to myself "This is insane. I have to work all day and will be toooo crabby without sleep!" and went back to bed. 

So then Thursday I took the kids to the children's museum for the day and was completely exhausted by the end! I can't believe how wiped out I get at things like that! 

Friday I woke up again at 4:30. I had to work Friday and we were leaving to go camping for the weekend right after work. So when I woke up I had the conscious thought "I will be a COMPLETE crab tonight at camping if I don't sleep in."   I know, I know, I suck.  So I went back to sleep.

Saturday we were camping and went on a nice hike. As you can see, I walked over 20,000 steps that day! I ate like crap because I was camping, duh. :-) 

Sunday we packed up camp and headed home. We had some nasty storms here so we took the kiddos to see Monsters University (CUTE CUTE movie!). 

Today we took the kids to the zoo. We got there around 10 and left at 5! SUPER long day but a wonderful awesome family day. I am thankful to be able to have days like this with my family. 

So obviously from this week, we have learned that I am still not able to "eat clean" when I'm out and about. It's a hard choice for me to make still! Which is funny, since we've been doing it for almost 6 months. But it's a work in progress! 

I am planning to get up tomorrow morning to work out. I have the same issue tomorrow that I had last Tuesday - I have tickets to see a show (Shrek with my daughter) and will be out until easily 11pm. But I'm going to go with it, eat smart tomorrow and drink lots of coffee to get me through it all!

Again, going to refocus this week. 

Aiming for 6 days working out, 2-3 days allowed drinking, good eating all of them and steps over 10,000. 

The thing that kills me, and maybe the point of this whole post, is that I woke up on my scheduled days last week, looked at my phone, went to the bathroom - and went back to bed. I want to get to a place where I am EXCITED to work out. Maybe I need to find a new workout?  

Maybe Insanity isn't for everyone. 

I am just having such a hard time getting excited about it! I get excited about kickboxing, I love my classes at the Y.... I just haven't gotten fully on board with Insanity yet.  Here's hoping I can start sticking to it. 

I refuse to weigh in again officially until next week. With all the salt, sugar and junk I consumed, it will just depress me further.   How often do you weigh yourself? I get stuck in a vicious cycle of weighing myself everyday, noting even the smallest fluctuation.... it's borderline obsessive, which I KNOW isn't good. Jen has reminded me for years not to weigh in that often, but I just can't stop doing it! 

I remember loving weigh ins. I would weigh in every day just to see the number change (go down!) when I was working out regularly. And sometimes it was ok with me if the scale went up just a bit, because I was lifting and had a pretty fabulous routine that I knew would "bulk" me up some. I miss that. I'm terrified to have my body fat percentage taken again because it cannot have done anything but skyrocket!

So I will probably weigh myself every day this week, but I won't do an "official" weight check until next Monday.  Hopefully we'll see a change. 

Have you ever tried a workout that just doesn't "work" for you?  How did you handle it - push through or find something new? 

Love/Hate

If it's not been obvious in the past, I have a love/hate relationship with running. 

I love how I feel after a long run - accomplished, fit, energized.  I love how it has made me stronger. I love how I lose weight from my hips, where I could never lose it any other way before I started running. 

But I hate running too. I hate how I feel DURING a run. I hate the self-conscious feeling I get about my "form."  I hate living in a neighborhood I can't run through, causing me to have to drive somewhere just to put on my shoes and run for a distance. 

I am a member of a Facebook group with a bunch of women who are rock stars. No, serious rock stars. Some have lost 50+ lbs, some have just started working out but are kicking butt. Some are pregnant and still doing full CrossFit workouts!  Same love/hate. I LOVE the motivation & inspiration. I hate myself for not getting up and doing more, for making excuses and for not making my health a priority.

As some of the girls are starting to use running as their cardio workout, I'm remembering the highs I used to have. The first time I ran 20 minutes without walking. The first time I ran 5, 6, 8 miles. My first half marathon.  I remember the achievement, the feeling of accomplishment, the feeling of pride. 

These are the things I need to keep me going. No pant size or body fat percentage is going to keep me motivated. Food tastes better, regardless of how many times I read the "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" crap on Pinterest. Because guess what? Food.Tastes.Good.  Good food AND bad food, it tastes GOOD.  

I need these stories of accomplishment.

 It even helps me to read back through my OWN blog and remember how amazing it feels to finish a long run, to eat clean for 3 months straight (oh my gosh my body is DYING for healthy food!) and to feel GOOD about myself. 

And I need to get back to a place where I am making time, carving out a particular time for me to work out. I haven't worked out when that will be yet. I am NOT a morning person, but I am willing to attempt to get up early enough to go to the gym before work. It's worth a try to get back to where I was, where I want to be again!

Apparently I have all the drive in the world - but no get up and GO!

How do you, especially moms (both SAHM, working & everything in between) prioritize your health with your family in mind?

Action Plan.

Sooooooo I've been MIA. I don't deny any of it. I just haven't nailed down how to balance everything.  I had a minor back injury a few weeks ago (from circuit, spinning or kickboxing, with cramming it all into two days a week, I just can't tell what causes pain anymore!) so I haven't been to the gym in two weeks. I can feel it. I can tell I haven't been working out and I can feel all the work I've done to get here over the last 2 years slowly slipping away. 

But it ends this week. 

I am starting the Insanity workouts. I plan to do the fit test tomorrow at some point, then start the Insanity calendar. I feel like yukky slob and while I am not gaining weight, I am DEFINITELY losing muscle. I will not be shocked if my body fat percentage sky rockets this month!

I loved kickboxing, truly, but it just doesn't fit well into my schedule. I am missing out on awesome time with my family taking up 2 evenings a week to go. I will be trying to fit in Insanity in the mornings before work and hopefully in the evenings when necessary.

I am heading out of town next weekend to meet my best friend's baby (YAY!) and while I'm away I am going to get the opportunity to work out with Callista. I am super psyched to get some tips from her on how to get back into the swing of working out. Mom of three, lawyer and training for a figure competition. 

I'm in such a rut. And I'm just digging myself in deeper.

 Not working out ð eat poorly ð feel like crap ð avoid working out even more ð etc

I am fed up. I am sick of feeling gross. This week, it's ending. I will sacrifice sleep or whatever I need to get this done. I haven't had my body fat percent checked, obviously, but I'm sure it's higher than it has been. I haven't necessarily gained weight but I can tell my clothes are fitting differently. And that is just NOT acceptable to me. Food is going to get cleaned up. I am hoping to regain my focus and get my family back to a healthy clean eating place! 

My action plan: 

• Water - 100 oz / day
• Workouts - Insanity (plus anytime I can get to the gym, a good workout). 
• "Long" run weekly. Hoping for the afternoons I am off work with the baby in the jogging stroller.
• Meal planning - I need to get back to having a plan and not falling back on mac'n'cheese and hot dogs for dinner for my family!! Lots of veggies, lots of healthy foods and cutting out all the sugar again.

Here's to new re-beginnings-again. I fell off the wagon, but I'm going to chase it back down and jump right back on it. We all take time away from our "plans" now and again, but the important part is getting back to the plan. 

Race Day! Halloween 10K

Well, I did it! 10K #2 under my belt.

I didn't make my ULTIMATE goal of a 10K under 60 minutes. HOWEVER, all things considered (illness this past week, leg injury & lack of sleep) I did SO much better than I expected and faster than I've ever actually run 6.2 miles!

2012 Results

2011 Results

Before the race

So official time is 1:08:54!! SO proud of that time! My running buddy, Sara, kept me moving for SURE! There were a few times I wanted to quit and walk but just knowing she was still going made me want to push onward too! (Shout out to Sara, whose furthest run was 4.5 miles before this morning!! WTG, Sara!)

I woke up at 5:30, before my alarm (crazy for me!) this morning. I popped an Aleve and jumped in the shower. After I got out, my chest and back started hurting SO BADLY! I didn't even think about that Aleve I took - on an empty stomach. I writhed in pain for awhile then I ate a banana (detox oops #1), got my act together, finished getting everything to the car and off we went!

I had NO.PAIN running!! One whole week of pain, never easing up and yet this morning - no pain. I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life!  I am looking forward to getting back to all of my workout classes this week (especially looking forward to yoga Tuesday!)

After the race, though, I did drink a chocolate milk (good recovery drink!, but detox oops #2) and took a few bites of a cinnamon chip roll (although I was so dehydrated, it felt like I was chewing sawdust!).

Then it was on to the 1 mile fun run with my girl! We've run a few "test" miles and I knew she would walk a lot of it. She did a FANTASTIC job, though, and fully deserves her first medal. She was SO proud of the medal and was breathing on it and "shining" it the whole way home. <3


So what's next? Well, this week I am getting back to my training (cross training and easy running) and continuing my detox(es).  I'm finding it easier and easier to function in the morning without coffee (crazy, I know!) and I haven't been craving sugar hardly at all! I don't know how much of this is due to the cold I have, but whatever the reason, I'll take it!

Here's to a great week and another successful race next weekend! Half marathon, here I come!!

Vacation!

Last week, we took a family vacation to Tybee Island, GA. It was awesome. Not great timing in terms of training. Honestly, I took all my running stuff and intended to run on the beach every morning. But it was a vacation full of food (some of it delicious, some of it - not so much) and drinking (seriously - margaritas were buy one get one free - TO GO??) and before I realized it, my week was almost over!

My view for my 3m run

But I did get a 3 mile run in (1.5 miles down the roads, 1.5 miles back - against the wind - on the beach). It was gorgeous and made me sad I hadn't been doing it the whole week.










   But with sunrises like this:

and sunsets like this:

it was hard to tear myself away for the time to myself to run.


I'm paying for it, though. I gained about 7lbs, was up to 161 when we got home.  I'm down to 158.5 this am, but still working on getting back to around 153, which seems to be my comfortable place. 

I came home and ran on Tuesday afternoon.  I had the jogging stroller and went 6.5 miles in 1hr 16m (11:46 pace) which is slower than my goal, but I was also pushing a stroller, so I gave myself a little credit

I am hoping to run 8 miles this weekend (9/29) and 10 next weekend (10/6) then begin to taper for the half. I am running a 10K race on 10/14 then the half follows the next weekend (10/21).  I am really hoping to pace myself so that I don't get injured

Here's to not dying!!

Got Oatmeal?

Good. Now go make BOTH of these recipes.

Right now.

Two people from different parts of the country shared recipes with me last week and even though the recipes were very similar, I decided I needed to make them both. At the same time.  And boy, am I sorry I did, because I CANNOT STOP EATING THEM! 

The first recipe, from Weelicious, is for a delicious granola bar. I tweaked JUST a little - here's the original recipe from Weelicious, then my amendments are in red. 

Chocolate Chip Granola Bars

Ingredients

• 4 cups old fashioned oats
• 1/4 cup whole wheat flour
• 1/2 cup shredded unsweetened coconut I can't find unsweetened, so I did use the sweet kind
• 1/3 cup brown sugar Omitted but sprinkled about 1Tbsp on top
• 1 cup chocolate chips* Didn't have any, but I chopped up a Hershey's bar to mix in.
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/2 cup canola oil I used coconut oil instead
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract Almond extract, because I adore nothing more in the world than the smell of almond extract.
• 1/2 cup honey

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 325 F.
2. Combine the first 6 ingredients in a bowl.
3. In a separate bowl, whisk together the remaining ingredients.
4. Pour the wet ingredients over the oat mixture and stir to combine.
5. Place granola mixture on a parchment lined baking sheet and shape into a rectangle, about 13 x 9 x 1 inch thick.
6. Bake for 40 minutes.
7. Allow to cool for 10 minutes then cut into 3 x 1 inch bars.**
8. Serve.
* You can substitute raisins or other dried fruit for the chocolate chips.
** Individually wrapped, the bars will remain fresh for several weeks.

I thought I messed up somehow (maybe leaving out the brown sugar) because I was too impatient and started trying to eat them AS SOON AS THEY CAME OUT OF THE OVEN!  However, I had to leave and get the kiddo from school and when I came back - solid! Yay!

The kids have LOVED these and I'm not going to lie, I haven't stopped eating them either! I think the crumbles (from before I let them set up) will be FANTASTIC mixed into Greek oatmeal or even with some warm milk over top! (maybe with the honey Greek frozen yogurt I have outside in the freezer?!)



The second recipe was a suggestion of a friend, and she said to make sure you have people to share them with, because they are slightly additctive.

That was a HUGE understatement! These things are PHENOMENAL!  They are a no bake peanut butter chocolate cookie.  The recipe can be found at The Gracious Pantry under the title "Mini Chef’s No-Bake Cookies." 

Clean Eating No-Bake Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookies

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup honey
• 2 tsp. vanilla - Again, I used almond
• 1/3 cup creamy peanut butter I used Smucker's Natural (peanuts + salt!)
• 1/4 cup psyllium husks (you can substitute with wheat germ or oat bran too.) I used Flaxseed
• 2 tbsp. chia seeds
• 1 cup quick-cooking oats
• 1 tbsp. unsweetened cocoa powder

Directions
1. Combine all ingredients together in a large mixing bowl, using a wooden spoon.
2. Spoon 20-24 small balls of dough onto a parchment-lined cookie sheet and place the cookie sheet in the freezer for at least 45 minutes.
3. Remove sheet from freezer and transfer the cookies from the parchment to a Tupperware dish with a good fitting lid. The best way to remove them from the parchment is to get a good grip and twist slightly.

Store in the freezer (if you have any left over to store – don’t say I didn’t warn you!).

These are awesome for energy! I have LOVED popping one in my mouth before I head to the gym (or any other time) because I feel like they are an energy POWERHOUSE! Peanut butter, chia, flax.... seriously delicious too. Mine haven't left the freezer, I like the frozen texture of the honey.

So if you need snack foods - these should be your go-to's. Obviously it's not a great idea for someone in the early IQS stages, but honey is on my "natural ok" list for where I am in my journey - I haven't felt any adverse reactions, cravings, pain, etc., since eating these.

So check them out, try them out, let me know what you think. I think the granola bars would be DELICIOUS with some kind of dried fruit - raisins or cherries.  And there is NOTHING to improve upon for the cookies :-)

Twitter Accountability at Work

If you are on Twitter, we have started an accountability hashtag !! So if you're in need of support, the bat signal is right here -

 #helpmetrain 

I've been having a STELLAR week since Monday's post. I have been ON - for the most part. 

As you can see, I did my 3 miles on Tuesday. Wednesday I was on the treadmill, running with a friend and I just could.not. power through the three miles. But she was heading to a class and I thought "Well, I'll do the class, then come back for a fast mile run." Haha. Here's the class description: 

Interval training that alternates between Hi/Low aerobics and muscle conditioning exercises.

It wasn't nearly as difficult as the other cardio classes I took but I definitely got a good workout! So even if I didn't hit my scheduled three miles, I feel confident I did enough for my health that day!  

Today, my third running day in a row, I woke up dreading it. I got dressed (in gym clothes!) and went downstairs for coffee. At that point, I fully intended to stay in my gym clothes in the basement all day. I tweeted that I didn't want to go - that my body isn't made for three consecutive running days. I expected to get tweets back saying "oh yea, you can't run three days in a row, it's not good for you!" 

What did I get?
@Nic get rest, eat right, drink plenty of water. #helpmetrain you can do it!

@Nic can you do some cross training instead? Spin class? #helpmetrain 

@Nic you can do it. I've got to get mine done this afternoon. Gonna be hot!  

@Nic you can doooo it! 

So wow, this hashtag really does work!! And those encouraged me to get off my butt, head to the gym and run. I did my full scheduled 3.5 miles in 36 minutes! Yay!!  

Tomorrow is a rest day, then I WILL do a long run Saturday or Sunday.  Feeling good, people, I'm feeling good! 

I've been allowing more sugar than "quitting" levels for sure. But I'm not feeling terrible and my weight is staying around in the same place. I've been weighing in anywhere from 152-155, which I am comfortable with at this point. I'm coming to terms that this may be my "comfortable" weight now.

Acountability!

So fellow running friends, what do you do for accountability? (If you require such a thing - I obviously do!)


I misread my calendar for Thursday.  I didn't get much sleep thanks to an unhappy baby waking all night. I went in DETERMINED to meet my training plan distance. I stopped after a mile to rest (less than a minute off the treadmill).  I stopped after 1.5 too.  At 2 miles, I was thinking I would give up. But I pushed to 2.5.  At 2.5 I STOPPED the treadmill, reset it, wrote down my distance and gave up. But I didn't because then I had this GENIUS thought - "If I turn the treadmill up to 7.2, I can finish a half mile in FOUR MINUTES." So I did. And almost died (but I didn't!). And I was proud of myself for sticking it out, regardless of my 4 hours of sleep the night before.

Then I got home and realized that I was supposed to have run 3.5 miles. *facepalm*  I think I felt defeated.  I skipped my Saturday run. Didn't do it Sunday either.  This morning rolled around and instead of going to the gym, I ate Peanut butter Cap'n'crunch & did laundry. It's been a WEEK, I can't fall off my training plan yet! 

So who wants a check in? Daily, weekly, anything - I just need some accountability. I will be happy to post a daily thread on here or anywhere else if that helps! If you're on Twitter, let's have a daily running hashtag or something, because there is just no way I'm going to make my time goals left to my own devices!

Disgusting

This week has been HORRIBLE after my weigh in!! Here's my confessional:

 

My daughter turned four on Tuesday. My mom, step dad and aunt flew in to celebrate with us.  My aunt, who owns a bakery and makes the most delightful, exquisite cakes EVER! The cake, with my beautiful little girl, is four layers, alternating white and chocolate cake, with an amazing chocolate ganache. It was flown here from Cleveland on my Aunt's lap.  And worth every minute and every mile!

Then was the Fourth of July. The parade starts in front of our house, so our tradition (with Jen!) is to have a yummy vodka slush as we watch what is USUALLY a pretty depressing parade (although this year was an exception!). Slush is a mix of sugar water, orange juice, lemonade & limade (the frozen concentrates) and vodka, served over 7Up.

Then I followed it that afternoon with some homemade Sangria, which was fabulous.

And the candy - oh the candy!  I swear my kids get more candy on 4th of July than they do on Halloween! For less work, too.  You sit in one place and they THROW it at you. I will openly admit, I raided their bags for banana Laffy Taffy and Tootsie Rolls (the big ones, none of that midget stuff for me)

The 5th started prep for the WORLD'S MESSIEST RAINBOW ART PARTY!  I made all the food from scratch. One of the messy art activities was decorating cupcakes to take home.  Those were, of course, rainbow colors as well. And I had to taste test the fruit dip (cream cheese + marshmallow fluff), whipped cream & buttercream icings. Quality control, you know...





 And cake. Can't have a party without cake!  I made an ice cream sandwich cake, with M&Ms on top and crushed up chocolate cookies inside (along with the hot fudge and ice cream sandwiches).  I homemade all the whipped cream and froze it into one delightful cake. 

And today? I ate my weight in gummy bears.

 So what's the moral of the story?  

I hurt. I feel "ooky." I can barely make a fist my hands hurt SO BADLY. I crash several times a day from sheer lack of energy. My temper is short.  My stomach is bloated. 

WHY OH WHY do I torture myself?? 

I know sugar hurts. I know it makes me feel gross and squishy.  Was all the indulgence from the past week WORTH it? 

Nope. Not a chance. 

I've thrown away the parade candy (except for a few things I stashed in the diaper bag, only for the kids though), the cake it gone and I'm going to ask my hubby to take those chewy little gummy guys to work with him this week. 

Juicing will be a challenge this week, as our "total kitchen renovation" starts on Tuesday. My kitchen is currently relocated to my basement, so juicing won't be convenient. But it must happen. 

Detox & getting back to goal again (and lower, maybe! without all these stumbling blocks!) is on the forefront of my mind. 

I want to get out for a run.  We aren't supposed to be over 100º this week, as we have been for the last 10+ days. I'm hoping that, compared to the 118º heat index from Saturday, the 90º weather will feel nice enough for a quick run outside. :-) 

I think I need to get my mind right this week, too. It's something I'm doing, for myself and my family, to make our lives better.

This is a LIFESTYLE, not a diet. 

It's HEALTHY. Sugar is a toxin flowing through my blood!

It's LIFE-ALTERING.  Pain is gone, mood is stable, energy is increased.  

It's CHEAPER. Fresh food is by and large much less expensive that prepackaged and processed foods.

It's CREATIVE.  It's fun to experiment, to find new ways of making old favorites, new flavors and new foods.

It's DOABLE. Proven in that I have DONE it before. I HAVE stuck with this, I CAN do it and it IS worth it.

It is NOT: 

unattainable

a punishment

a rule without exception

I have worked TOO hard and TOO long to give up now.

My race schedule is looking like this: 

August 18th - "fun" run for The Color Run 5K

October 14th - Go! St. Louis Halloween 10K

October 21st - (My 31st birthday) Rock'n'Roll Half Marathon

Thanksgiving - Turkey day 5K with my mom in Atlanta, GA

So it's time to get serious.