Disgusting

This week has been HORRIBLE after my weigh in!! Here's my confessional:

 

My daughter turned four on Tuesday. My mom, step dad and aunt flew in to celebrate with us.  My aunt, who owns a bakery and makes the most delightful, exquisite cakes EVER! The cake, with my beautiful little girl, is four layers, alternating white and chocolate cake, with an amazing chocolate ganache. It was flown here from Cleveland on my Aunt's lap.  And worth every minute and every mile!

Then was the Fourth of July. The parade starts in front of our house, so our tradition (with Jen!) is to have a yummy vodka slush as we watch what is USUALLY a pretty depressing parade (although this year was an exception!). Slush is a mix of sugar water, orange juice, lemonade & limade (the frozen concentrates) and vodka, served over 7Up.

Then I followed it that afternoon with some homemade Sangria, which was fabulous.

And the candy - oh the candy!  I swear my kids get more candy on 4th of July than they do on Halloween! For less work, too.  You sit in one place and they THROW it at you. I will openly admit, I raided their bags for banana Laffy Taffy and Tootsie Rolls (the big ones, none of that midget stuff for me)

The 5th started prep for the WORLD'S MESSIEST RAINBOW ART PARTY!  I made all the food from scratch. One of the messy art activities was decorating cupcakes to take home.  Those were, of course, rainbow colors as well. And I had to taste test the fruit dip (cream cheese + marshmallow fluff), whipped cream & buttercream icings. Quality control, you know...





 And cake. Can't have a party without cake!  I made an ice cream sandwich cake, with M&Ms on top and crushed up chocolate cookies inside (along with the hot fudge and ice cream sandwiches).  I homemade all the whipped cream and froze it into one delightful cake. 

And today? I ate my weight in gummy bears.

 So what's the moral of the story?  

I hurt. I feel "ooky." I can barely make a fist my hands hurt SO BADLY. I crash several times a day from sheer lack of energy. My temper is short.  My stomach is bloated. 

WHY OH WHY do I torture myself?? 

I know sugar hurts. I know it makes me feel gross and squishy.  Was all the indulgence from the past week WORTH it? 

Nope. Not a chance. 

I've thrown away the parade candy (except for a few things I stashed in the diaper bag, only for the kids though), the cake it gone and I'm going to ask my hubby to take those chewy little gummy guys to work with him this week. 

Juicing will be a challenge this week, as our "total kitchen renovation" starts on Tuesday. My kitchen is currently relocated to my basement, so juicing won't be convenient. But it must happen. 

Detox & getting back to goal again (and lower, maybe! without all these stumbling blocks!) is on the forefront of my mind. 

I want to get out for a run.  We aren't supposed to be over 100º this week, as we have been for the last 10+ days. I'm hoping that, compared to the 118º heat index from Saturday, the 90º weather will feel nice enough for a quick run outside. :-) 

I think I need to get my mind right this week, too. It's something I'm doing, for myself and my family, to make our lives better.

This is a LIFESTYLE, not a diet. 

It's HEALTHY. Sugar is a toxin flowing through my blood!

It's LIFE-ALTERING.  Pain is gone, mood is stable, energy is increased.  

It's CHEAPER. Fresh food is by and large much less expensive that prepackaged and processed foods.

It's CREATIVE.  It's fun to experiment, to find new ways of making old favorites, new flavors and new foods.

It's DOABLE. Proven in that I have DONE it before. I HAVE stuck with this, I CAN do it and it IS worth it.

It is NOT: 

unattainable

a punishment

a rule without exception

I have worked TOO hard and TOO long to give up now.

My race schedule is looking like this: 

August 18th - "fun" run for The Color Run 5K

October 14th - Go! St. Louis Halloween 10K

October 21st - (My 31st birthday) Rock'n'Roll Half Marathon

Thanksgiving - Turkey day 5K with my mom in Atlanta, GA

So it's time to get serious.