Lost.

So, half marathon last Sunday.

One run - Wednesday - this week.

10K on Sunday.

I'm gaining weight like nobody's business.  I am stuck over 160lbs and I can't get down to where I want to be. I'm in that place where I just want to give up. Throw in the towel. It's so much easier just to survive than to be healthy. Why IS that??

I KNOW what it takes to get there. I know I CAN do it. What is so hard about JUST DOING IT??

I'm still running, I lift when I can. I try to get all of my 10K steps in for the day.

The wake up moment? The size 10 work pants I had to go out and buy (because the 8s I fit into when I started in April were too small) and that now I feel like a sausage in those. In pants that I used to feel AWESOME wearing. And that I remember running and not feeling my hip-fat jiggle. Or my gut. And my feet didn't hurt from carrying more weight. And I felt like I could accomplish something - anything - when I was succeeding.

So folks, that settles it. I'm back on the wagon. If I need to write it all down, that's what I'll do. But I just can't continue to feel this way!! I'm going to make sure to look into Jamie Eason's recipes and menus to make sure I'm making appropriate food choices and food pairing choices. I'm going to cut out the treats (THE TREATS, OH THE TREATS have been insane lately!!).  Cut back on beer. (not wine, I love my wine too much for that! <--- maybe that's the attitude that is keeping me fat, eh??) DRINK MY WATER!!  I am so so bad about drinking enough water!

Weigh ins are on Tuesdays this month. I'm in a place where I EXPECT to gain every week. It's just not ok to be here. My goal is to lose weight this week, even just 1/2 lb. And to KEEP losing, because something has to change!!