I DID IT!

I FINALLY finished the Jamie Eason plan!! (About 2 weeks ago, I've just been slacking on blogging :-) It was definitely an awesome plan!!!  It was intimidating to try things that I haven't done before (dead lifting and using the squat rack!) but it starts out easy (beginner level for sure) and works up.  I started spacing things out a bit at the end, the workouts got longer (1 1/2 hr and more) and I felt like I needed to take some days off to spend more time at home with my family.

I don't think I took before/after pictures, but I can DEFINITELY see an improvement! My favorite "result" - my TRICEP!  It's awesome now! :-)

So, I finished.  My running is in a weird place (I'm much more bulky than I used to be) so I will be spending the next few months focusing again on my cardio.  I am registered for the Halloween 10K and the Cowbell Half Marathon again in October and I am DEAD SET on PR'ing both of them!

Just proud to say I finished the whole program!!!

fat kid on the block...

Man!  I am almost done with the Jamie Eason plan (you know, the 12 week one that has taken me almost 16...??) - just 2 workouts left!  I am getting back to taking some of the awesome cardio classes I used to take and I'm finding that I am so disappointed!!

Not in the classes, those are awesome as always. But in myself! My stamina is in the toilet, I feel like the fat kid in the room in all of them!  I know that I have surely "bulked up" a bit doing this plan but boy, I didn't think I would do it to the detriment of my cardio goals!   I went to my favorite cardio class this am and we did an easy ("easy") one mile run down and up hill.  You would have thought they asked me to run sprints for a half marathon I was so winded and spent! Last one back to the room, heart bursting through my chest, sweat pouring off of me....

I KNOW the lifting has been a great addition to my fitness routine, but now at the end of this plan, I JUST want my cardio back.  I love lifting, proud of myself for lifting heavier and heavier and even more proud of my tricep muscle that is present no matter what...  but now I need to get back to a place where I don't feel like an elephant when I run!!

Crossroads.

I've been sitting here, staring at a blank screen for about a half an hour. I'm researching, reading and thinking through my next steps. 

I've completed a Whole30.  When it was over, I fell off the wagon.  No, I take that back, I swan dove off the sucker.  We left for vacation and never looked back.  I spent a month with little restriction (although I will say, we aren't usually very far from at least a "clean" eating plan) and gained back all of my weight, felt awful, etc. 

So I started another Whole30 (intending to do a "Whole14") last Friday.  Today is Day 5. I'm feeling good, but my anxiety is THROUGH THE ROOF. Not sure if it's W30 related or just life in general.  I had no headaches, I'm getting stuffy again (my whole family got horrible colds about week 2 last time), but I'm having no lightheadedness this time. 

But that brings me to my food today.  Eggs with bacon mixed in, avocado and coffee.  Lunch (was STARVING - had a 570 cal burn workout then took the kids swimming!) 1/2 spaghetti squash with homemade marinara & meatballs, salad with olives and Tessamae's balsamic dressing and a bowl of applesauce with cinnamon.  I made "ice cream" for my kids - frozen watermelon, coconut water and a touch of coconut milk for creaminess. (NOTE: THIS IS NOT WHOLE30 COMPLIANT, even if the ingredients are. It's SWYPO!)  I had some - you know why? Because I'm slowly realizing, I need to learn to live within my guidelines. Maybe finding an amazing delicious summer treat (that isn't "real" ice cream) will help me stop feeling "left out" of all the occasions that there is REAL ice cream.  

I was faced again with one of these situations at dinner. I went to get my co-op produce and left hubby and kids to make dinner. They put together a DELICIOUS chicken salad. My almost-6 year old made most of the salad herself - peeling carrots and shredding them, putting cheese on them and adding olives. When I walked in, she stopped me at the door and, with the saddest eyes ever, said "Mommy -- I accidentally put cheese on your salad."   Now I had two options - 1) try to pick all the shredded cheese off the salad to "preserve" my Whole30 (which would have broken my daughter's heart) or 2) Go with it knowing that I do NOT react to dairy (thank you, first Whole30). I chose #2. Because you know what, sometimes, food will have ingredients that I don't know about. Sometimes I will choose to eat "non compliant" food. Sometimes I will WANT to eat non compliant food. 

So I will continue to eat "Whole30" but I will use the remainder of my 2 weeks to keep my eyes open for opportunities for moderation.  Some accidental cheese, a paleo treat with my kids... 

I just can't continue the cycle I'm on - Whole30, junky eating, Whole30, etc. I don't believe it was intended to be used this way and I want to try to get to the root of my eating issues. I'm hoping to be more MENTALLY aware this time than I was last time. 

Sorry if a lot of this post is rambling - I really don't know where I stand or what my plan is going forward, but getting it "on paper" will really help me!