Back in the Game!

I took a month(ish) off from being completely sugar free. I had a great piece of cake at my son's birthday party (with a spoonful of ice cream!) and it was awesome. I had a cake ball the next day.  And for two weeks in a row, I didn't lose weight (gained 1lb!) So I'm back to no sugar for awhile, just to jumpstart the loss again. In addition to not losing, my joints have started hurting and I've been INCURABLY hungry! So I figured back to basics! I plan on doing a week with absolutely no sugar, then allowing fruit again.  We'll see if I'll be adding any "treat' sugars back in, but I don't think I'm ready for that yet.

I went to the gym yesterday, even though it was a great day to curl up in pjs and watch movies all day. I thought I'd just get on the treadmill and see what happened, planning only to walk slowly and not really thinking I would get very far before giving up.  What happened? I wound up running 5 miles! In fact, I ran it at a 12 min/mile pace, which although it's still slow is the fastest I've ever run a complete distance before!


So much for a leisurely walk :-)

But it was good and reaffirming about running on a treadmill, which I'm finding I dislike more than I thought I did.

If you need some running music, be sure to check out Rock My Run - great mixes that keep me going for all my miles! I hate having to skip songs or fumble with my music during my runs, and the long (hour +!) mixes really change things up but keep them motivating. It's really changed the way I've focused while running.

So here's my calendar, updated with this week + the last two training.  (my "planned" workouts are timed, my actual workouts are the all day boxes)

Disney Princess Half Marathon Update - We leave in FIVE WEEKS!! WOOOOOO! I'm up to 8.2 miles. Hoping (if the weather goes above 40 degrees!) to get a 9 mile run in this weekend. If the weather is still cold - will be attempting that distance on the treadmill!

A Question of Motivation

My son turns one on Saturday and this week has been crazy stress for me. I'm not having a huge party, just a few close friends, but I feel pressure to make his party as "great" as my daughter's first. Except I have to make the cake myself! 

 

I wanted to do a tie-dye cake, so I did a test run on Monday. From that cake, I planned to make cake balls. 

The party is a space/alien/astronaut theme, so my cake will be a round cake with a few cake balls for eyes!  

However, Tuesday was the seven year anniversary of my grandmother's passing. She was one of the most influential women in my life and losing her was horrible. No kids napped and I was just completely overwhelmed. 

 

And in that moment, I took a cake ball and jammed the whole thing in my mouth.

Yipes. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not upset because I ate sugar. I've allowed myself to have some treats now and again, no big deal. 

What upsets me is that after twelve weeks of battling my sugar addiction, I really thought that in the moment, in THAT moment of stress, anxiety, overwhelmed-ness -- I really thought I had a handle on the emotional side of the addiction.  When I eat sugar now, it's a choice. It's me saying "Hey, this is sugar, and I know it, and I choose to eat this" OR, "this isn't worth eating today!"   But in a single moment, I jammed the whole cake ball in my mouth, I don't even know if I chewed it. And it was gone. 

We recently talked in my parents' group at chuch about alcohol. The conversation struck me as similar to yesterday. The whole root of the issue is motivation.  Do I drink alcohol to get drunk or because I enjoy the taste of wine?  Same thing for me with sugar - did I eat that because I wanted to eat a treat or did I eat it out of depression, anxiety, etc?  Obviously my motivation was wrong. THAT is the upsetting part for me - I don't have a handle on it!  Hubby pointed out that my biggest sugar love has ALWAYS been cake (hello, Cake Day!) and it's absurd to think that I can be alone with a ton of cake (I did make a lot!) without a little slip. 

"Did you eat a cake ball?" "yes" 

"Did you eat ONE cake ball?" "... yes"  

"Did you stop after one?" "yes" 

"Would you have 4 months ago?" 

THERE is the good news. I DID! I stopped after that one cake ball!

So I move onward. Today when the going got tough, the tough (me) ate bacon. :-)  Today was a new (but still pretty bad) day and I avoided sugar today. Back to the detox tea and kettle chips! 

Tomorrow, Pilates!!

Controversy.

I was recently talking with some friends on a message board about New Year's resolutions. Many people said this year they would like to run a 5 or 10K. Someone else asked why so many people want to run and another person responded that running is trendy and everyone and their grandma is running (half) marathons.

I don't know if it's trendy and I don't know the implications of grandma running alongside me in my half marathon, but I'm happy for the runners! I'm by no means a fast runner, I'm not setting any land speed records - but I'm dedicated and determined.  If running was only for those "good" at it, I certainly wouldn't be doing it. Good for grandma if she's got it in her to even WALK a half marathon! I would be extremely proud if my grandma was able to say that at 70-something, she did that.  Does the presence of those slower mar the accomplishments of those that are "good" at running?  I certainly don't think so and I definitely hope it doesn't!

Is it the economy (another argument I heard for running - you only need shoes!) that's pushing more people to the roads?  I don't know. For me, it's personal accomplishment. I don't particularly ENJOY running. I don't get that "runner's high" that everyone talks about, but I am accomplishing something. This morning, I ran another 8.14 miles around the lake. There were a lot of people there that are "natural" runners, you can tell from their pace and gait. I am NOT a natural runner. It's taking work for me to get myself going, to keep myself going and not to die halfway around the lake. But I'm working at it. 

The sand, the lake. All keep my focus off the pain :-)

Regardless of the reason for so many people getting into running, I'm happy about it. I love talking to both new and accomplished runners about their journey. I'm SO grateful to hear about people who are avid runners now but who HATED it when they started. It gives me hope that someday this won't be drudgery, something I have to force myself to complete.

Moderation

My personality is very all-or-nothing.  When I make a plan, I am either doing it ALL THE WAY or not at all. When I do WW, I stick to my points - I never go over my weeklies and rarely use more than just a handful. When I quit sugar, I quit ALL sugar.

However, now that I'm outside of the 8 week detox, I'm having a hard time finding a balance between militant NO SUGAR and falling back into my lifestyle. Jen is encouraging me that it's all about moderation and some sugar now and again isn't bad. But I LOVE the weight I'm losing! I'm scared that adding sugar, even in small amounts, will bring my weight back up. I am scared that, since I never lost the daily cravings, that I will fall back into the hugely addictive place I was in before my detox.

I have been allowing myself to have an apple a day, and it has been fabulous. I can't stop staring at the cookies and saying "mmmmm I want a cooookie!"  The other advice I've read is to start my week knowing that I will allow one sweet treat for the week.  Then when I encounter a sweet treat that I think I would like to have, think about my ONE treat - is what I'm currently digging on WORTH using that one treat?  Most times, I find that no, it's not really worth wasting the treat. And I get to the end of my week finding that NOTHING has been worth wasting that treat. That makes me feel like I really have changed my life!

As far as my workout goals - I'm sticking with it mostly.

• Last Saturday, I ran 8.2 miles around the lake. 
• Sunday, Monday & Tuesday I rested (because I couldn't move after my 8 mile run ;-))
• Wednesday, I ran 2.51 miles on the treadmill.
• Thursday, I had my first one hour Pilates class. Boy did I forget what Pilates does to your midsection :-) Also, since the weather is quite springy and delightful, the kids and I walked .5 miles to the park. No, wait. I walked to the park - PULLING both kids in the wagon :-)
  
• Today, we have swimming lessons for both kids. I was planning to swim after their lessons, but there was a mix up and our class time was changed from 9 to 10:45.... instead, I will probably walk to the park with the kiddos again.

What do you think? How would you do "sugar in moderation"?

Slipped.

I'm enjoying an apple. 

I have loosened my restrictions on sugar, but realized I was allowing all the WRONG kinds - a chocolate covered pretzel here, a square of chocolate there...  but still not allowing fruit at all. So this afternoon, when the cravings struck (I think allowing the "wrong" sugar has amplified the afternoon cravings) I reached for an apple. Oh my goodness, it tastes AMAZING! I've never been a huge fan of apples. Give me a few the week after we go apple picking the fall, but I don't eat them beyond that.  However today it is a whole new thing for me. This apple (Jazz apple) tastes so sweet! It's totally hitting the spot for me this afternoon!  So I'm going to be disposing of the leftover Christmas cookies, candy and drinks so that I am not tempted anymore.

I did gain another pound this week. I'm not sure if it's the little amount of sugar I have allowed or if it is because I haven't tracked my WW points at all. Either way, it all ends today. My hubby goes back to work tomorrow so it's back to the routine!  I also am close enough to finished nursing that I took those extra points off of my Weight Watchers totals. So I've gone from 44 points daily to *gulp* 27!

 

I started my training plan on Saturday with a nice 8 mile run. I won't lie, I'm a HURTING PUPPY today, but it felt AWESOME! Around mile 7.5, I realized that I was *just hitting* the 1 hour, 30 min mark - the amount of time it took me to run 6.2 in October!  Very excited to see that, even though I'm a Sssssllllooowww runner, I'm improving. 

From my lake run on Saturday

New Goals

Jen inspired me to get a schedule figured out. We are just shy of eight weeks away from the half marathon! I need to get my butt in gear and get training!

My biggest obstacle is my kiddos. Don't get me wrong, love 'em. But crabby, sick, tired, etc all make for difficult trips to the gym. Not napping makes it hard for me to get in a workout at home.  Feeling guilty about leaving my family on the weekends to do long runs keep me from outside training.  All excuses. I need to bust through those and realize running is making me a better Mommy AND a better wife! That 45-60 min that I can run by myself? Those minutes make me better. I'm happier, I feel more accomplished and I'm not carting around a boatload of guilt about what I am NOT doing to prepare for this scary exciting race.

So here is the first few weeks of January on my calendar. As my son nears his first birthday(*sniff* in two weeks) he's starting to be able to get away with no morning nap. I'm going to use that to my advantage and start hitting the gym every school day (E is in preschool Mon & Wed AM) Tuesday mornings will be left open for play dates, trips to the children's museum and other errand needs, so I will be doing Jillian's 30 day Shred videos in my basement while the kids take quiet time/naps in the afternoon. Thursdays from 1/5-2/19, I have signed up for a pilates class at the Y. I am VERY excited about this! I took a pilates class years ago at Bally's and it was always a great workout. My YMCA only had cardio pilates last time I looked into it, so I was thrilled to see "regular" Pilates when I looked last week!  Friday mornings both kiddos are enrolled in swimming classes. Because A is a little guy, I will be with him in his class while E is unassisted in her class.  After the lesson, I think I will take hte kids to child watch and go for a swim myself. I used to be able to get a mile in under 30 minutes, so it will be interesting to see if I can still reach that goal!

I will be checking in here with my progress. But here's my calendar for the first two weeks of January. Feel free to hassle me about whether or not I've been to the gym or done my scheduled activity for the day :-)

So here goes nothing. 2011 was the year I started running, but 2012 will be the year I become a runner!

Time to Move

I'm still here! I've just been swamped with working two jobs - one of which was retail during the Christmas holiday... Yikes! I haven't had time to consistently be in the gym like I would like to be, but I have been careful about what I eat. Like Nicole, my sweets have been allowed, but minimal. Rather than grab a dessert plate at Christmas, I picked one cookie and ate it off a napkin so I wouldn't be tempted to pile up the goodies. I peeked at the scale on Monday morning to have it read: 138.8! I am at my goal weight, even slightly below it! Of course, I still have muscles I'd like to improve. But I'm happy that I am at a healthy weight and have really changed my eating habits!

I went to put in my measurements on my WW tracker a couple weeks ago. To my surprise, one day several months ago I had put in my measurements! So here is the change to date:

Waist:
Feb 2011 38"
Nov 2011 30"
Change: -8"

Hips:
Feb 2011 42"
Nov 2011 36"
Change: -6"

Bust:
Feb 2011 41"
Nov 2011 40"
Change: -1"

Clothing:
Feb 2011 12 pants; XL or L shirts
Nov 2011 8 pants (loosely); M or S shirts
Change: 2 sizes

I didn't realize how far I had come. I still don't feel small. Just ask Nicole - I squirm or make a funny face when she calls me skinny, even more so when she adds the word "super" in front of it. I will try on, even buy, shirts that are a size or two too big because I just haven't adjusted to the reality that I can wear a small. The weight loss portion of this journey is over for me. I'm where I have spent the last several years dreaming about being. Honestly, it still kind of feels like a dream. It almost doesn't seem real.

But the journey of a healthy lifestyle is never over. Now, my focus becomes on my fitness. And with the half marathon less than two months ahead, the gym will easily become my second home. Here is the 8 week training plan I will begin and stick to

This is the training plan I used for my very first half marathon, so I know it works. It will have me in the gym 6 days a week - that's 6 more than I have been doing. But 2 or 3 miles will go quickly. I have a tendency to avoid the gym because getting off work at 10pm, I just don't have the energy to be working out until midnight. But if I keep telling myself "these miles will be done in just X number of minutes" it feels doable.

I'm still trying to figure out how many of my runs I should do outside versus on the treadmill at the gym. It's freezing right now, and it certainly won't be this cold in Florida - even in February. My current plan is to get outside and run the Sunday long runs at the lake if the weather is nice enough to do that. If not, then the treadmill will suffice. Any other tips or tricks or ideas for me as I jump into training?