Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Begin Again

Hey, Jen here! Yes, I'm still alive. I just have been crazy busy and stink at the blogging thing! Thankfully Nicole is amazing and on top of this thing. :) If you've been reading, you know that I did the half marathon with her. My plan was to walk - I have knee problems and nodules on my lungs and a digestive disorder and a nice pile of other medical issues going on here lately (seriously, I'm a 26 year old with the body of a 90 year old), so running just won't happen. So, walk I did.

I actually kept pace with Nic for the first mile or so, but I stopped for water and broke my stride. This was my fourth half marathon, but the roughest one for me yet. I won't lie: I felt awful. My knees started hurting at a moderate pain level about halfway through and no amount of Tylenol or BioFreeze seemed to help. I stream all my music on my new phone (thank you Spotify & Pandora), but got poor Internet signal, so most of the event was done without music too. Blunt honesty: this one sucked. I felt bad and I wanted to quit most of the way. But I didn't. I crossed that finish line and I earned that medal just the same! Most of the people who care about me most have advised this needs to be my last event. For the sake of my health and so that I don't need a knee replacement before I turn thirty, I need to be kind to my body.

But what CAN I do?! Because now I haven't been to the gym in months. I'm using my health (and my busy schedule) as an excuse. Yes, there are things that I can't do. Yes, I need to take it easy and listen to my body when it says "enough is enough!" But that is no reason to avoid it altogether. If running hurts, I can walk. If the treadmill is too much, the elliptical is easier on the knees. If intense cardio is causing my lungs to burn, I can still do strength training. So today, I'm committing to go back. I'm determined to keep the healthy, active lifestyle as much as possible.

As far as my weight, I had gotten as low as 137 pounds, but I've been holding steady around 142 for the last couple of months. My WW goal weight was 140 - and you are considered to be holding steady in maintenance mode when you are +/- 4 pounds. So I'm there. I'm at goal and have been for quite a while now! I'm glad I'm there, but I'm not quite happy with it. I know I can be better. And being in the gym and staying active is the big part of it. I just feel better, stronger, and more capable when I'm in that routine.

And lately, my emotions have been all out of whack. I am getting really easily stressed, very anxious a lot. I feel less stable than I did before. And I remembered that when I started the no sugar journey, that was how I felt. But it went away. I felt happier and more stable when I wasn't consuming so much sugar. It seemed that the sugar highs and the crashes that soon followed caused my emotions to follow suit. So I have to give that another go too!

Yes, I am busy. I have a ridiculous amount of things going on in life... I work a full-time and a part-time job, I have a wonderful boyfriend, I have a messy house that always needs cleaning and that also needs the deck replaced in the upcoming months. But I am done using the blessings in my life as excuses. Instead, I will use them as motivators to push myself to be the best possible version of myself. It's time to cut the sugar and lose the mood swings. It's time to get back in the gym routine and do what I can so that I am the strongest and healthiest I can be. It's time to get back into the lifestyle I loved so much. Here we go!

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