Here it is, the mega-self-help side of For My Tummy. If you're not into it, please stop reading ;-)
I went to the Y this morning for my weekly Pilates class. Then I ran my fastest mile yet (9:59!) and lifted for about 10 minutes.
When I was done, I headed to the locker room to shower and noticed my reflection as I passed. For a brief moment, I wondered who it was.
Because even though THIS is what was in the mirror:
THIS is what I still see:
So WHY. Why is it that I see myself 33+ lbs heavier? Why am I having such a hard time realizing that my body has changed? My pants size is down to a 10, I'm wearing clothes I haven't worn since shortly after my wedding. And yet, I still FEEL like the "fat kid" I used to be.
For anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight, how long does it take your mind to catch up with your body? How long before I realize I'm NOT the heavy person I used to be? How do I stop being scared that any dessert or fried food I put in my body will send me directly back to that 188lb place I just got away from?
I think I would feel so much better if I could fully appreciate what I've done, but I still look down and see that my thighs touch, my arms are flabby and I have rolls on my belly (and stretch marks, but I'm not worrying about those - those are my baby battle scars :-). In my head, I KNOW I'm doing well - 33lbs lost and I just ran a freaking half marathon!
So sorry for the intensely negative post. I'm really trying to be transparent and that's where I am right now. Now excuse me while I go eat an entire blueberry cake.