Day 3: ooohhh soooo sleepy

So the 4:30 wakeups have started catching up with me! I'm also trying to drink more water/less coffee so maybe that is the cause of my exhaustion today. (??) I know I was more irritable for sure (wanted to trip the guy walking around my cube at work talking on his cell phone for a half hour!) and sooo tired!

• Bedtime will be 9pm on Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday.  Ugh, 10 now. 9 may be a bit unrealistic for me!
• Alcohol will be two nights a week (it's been getting a little out of hand! Definitely part of the lbs being packed on!) One of my two tonight! Yum! Shiraz is even better when I'm not drinking it so often :-)
• If I miss a day of working out, I WILL NOT throw in the towel  Nope!! Woke up at 4:30 and finished Insanity Pure Cardio!
• Same as above, if I don't keep a PERFECTLY clean day, I will NOT take comfort in the candy dish.  No candy! I did have about 1Tbsp of flavored creamer today in my coffee (see the first paragraph about being exhausted... :-) 
• Goal: 15,000 steps/day. If it means I march around my house for an hour before bed, so be it.  9,600 as of 10:04pm, but I may be able to wander around enough to hit 10,000. 15,000 will be hard tonight :( 

Wednesday: Insanity AM DONE! although I must admit I'm disappointed that after I drip sweat for 45 minutes, my FitBit only gives me 275 calories burned! I feel like it burns a WHOLE LOT MORE :-) 

Day 2. Baby steps!

Thanks to my lovely early rising friends who sent me FB messages and texts at 4:30 this am, I woke up and did Insanity! And thankfully it was Cardio Recovery because I am so sore I don't think I could have managed ANYTHING ELSE! My back, my legs, my shoulders, my abs - all killing me. And I am loving EVERY second of it!

• Bedtime will be 9pm on Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday.  10:19 now and haven't gotten ready. Fail. 
• Alcohol will be two nights a week (it's been getting a little out of hand! Definitely part of the lbs being packed on!) None tonight!
• If I miss a day of working out, I WILL NOT throw in the towel I worked out this morning at 5! Woop woop!
• Same as above, if I don't keep a PERFECTLY clean day, I will NOT take comfort in the candy dish. I did pretty well today. I'm well under my calorie goal and didn't "cheat"
• Goal: 15,000 steps/day. If it means I march around my house for an hour before bed, so be it. Fail. I'm at 6,116 and only plan on walking from my chair to the bathroom to get ready for bed, then into bed. Still hoping to wake up tomorrow am, even with the late bedtime!

Tuesday: Insanity AM Done!

3/5 goals met isn't too bad, odds are in my favor. And tomorrow is another day!

Operation: Accountability Day 1 :)

Survived day 1 :)

• Bedtime will be 9pm on Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday. Fail- in bed by 9:30 tonight though! 
• Alcohol will be two nights a week (it's been getting a little out of hand! Definitely part of the lbs being packed on!) none tonight! 
• If I miss a day of working out, IWILL NOT throw in the towel n/a I worked out twice today! 
• Same as above, if I don't keep a PERFECTLY clean day, I will NOT take comfort in the candy dish. I did pretty well with my eating
• Goal: 15,000 steps/day. If it means I march around my house for an hour before bed, so be it. 17,003 is my total! 

Monday: Circuit & Kickboxing check! 

Today was great! I discovered a new smoothie that I like (weird because I HATE smoothies as a rule) and worked out twice! My 2 classes in the morning then my kickboxing class at night.

Feeling good. It felt awesome to be back to my classes- it was like going home!

Small victory: took the kids to Dairy Queen to meet some friends and I didn't order anything for me, not did I steal any of the kids' ice cream! 

I need to add "drink 100oz water/day minimum" to my list of new rules!

Accountability (AKA What I Need)

I need to get my butt in gear. Seriously people, I weighed in at 160 this week. NOT a pretty sight. I am going to make this a priority now.

New Rules

• Bedtime will be 9pm on Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday. 
• Alcohol will be two nights a week (it's been getting a little out of hand! Definitely part of the lbs being packed on!)
• If I miss a day of working out, I WILL NOT throw in the towel 
• Same as above, if I don't keep a PERFECTLY clean day, I will NOT take comfort in the candy dish. 
• Goal: 15,000 steps/day. If it means I march around my house for an hour before bed, so be it. 

Monday: Circuit & Kickboxing

Tuesday: Insanity AM

Wednesday: Insanity AM

Thursday: Insanity AM or during the day

Friday: Off

Saturday: Run

Sunday: Insanity

My reality check for the day: 

June 9, 2013

Heck, forget a year ago. Here's a few WEEKS ago:

So it'll take me longer, since I'm working now. 

Scheduling will be critical to my success. Working only 20 hours a week seems like I should be able to work out before or after work without getting in the way, but I am NOT a morning person so going to the gym before 8 is probably a no-go.  I tried leaving work at 2pm on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, but I CAN'T do it. I have a problem leaving work in the middle of a project. And around 2pm? I seem to ALWAYS be in the middle of something! 

So I will set an alarm. Maybe 2.

I WILL get up those mornings at 4:30 and do Insanity. 

I WILL get back to clean eating so that I can stop feeling like gross trash. 

I can't keep being surrounded by people who are rocking it without doing my fair share of rocking. So here goes. I miss being one of the rock stars. It's time to ditch the lazy attitude I've had and the bad eating habits. It's time to feel GOOD again and I am the ONLY person who can make that happen.  

I know I CAN do it. I just need to get up and go to actually ACCOMPLISH it. And I will. I've lost 30+ lbs in the last 2 years. Staying at goal weight has been the hardest part of the whole journey!

So here's to goals. And dreams. And being healthy. And teaching my KIDS about healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle!

A Must-Read

I have body image issues. Obviously, it's been years and I'm still not "there" (where I want to be, wherever that is.) I swing from overly concerned to completely unconcerned but still self loathing.  I do try, especially now that I have an almost-5-year old daughter, not to be "obvious" about it. I do not want her to have the image issues that I have. 

My mom sent me this article today, Passing On Body Hatred. It was really hard for me to read this because I can identify with so much of it. I spend a lot of time trying to teach my daughter about a healthy lifestyle that includes smart choices with regard to food and keeping active. She's run several races of her own, she LOVES her "running outfit" and I hope that those are the things she is remembering. 

But I can't hide everything. Changing three times before work because nothing fits right, lamenting that I haven't worked out in X amount of time and sometimes being just downright disappointed in myself for my progress (or lack thereof). 

This is a great reminder to me to be mindful of not only how I treat my daughter but how I treat myself in front of her. 

How do you approach a healthy lifestyle with your kids? 

Love/Hate

If it's not been obvious in the past, I have a love/hate relationship with running. 

I love how I feel after a long run - accomplished, fit, energized.  I love how it has made me stronger. I love how I lose weight from my hips, where I could never lose it any other way before I started running. 

But I hate running too. I hate how I feel DURING a run. I hate the self-conscious feeling I get about my "form."  I hate living in a neighborhood I can't run through, causing me to have to drive somewhere just to put on my shoes and run for a distance. 

I am a member of a Facebook group with a bunch of women who are rock stars. No, serious rock stars. Some have lost 50+ lbs, some have just started working out but are kicking butt. Some are pregnant and still doing full CrossFit workouts!  Same love/hate. I LOVE the motivation & inspiration. I hate myself for not getting up and doing more, for making excuses and for not making my health a priority.

As some of the girls are starting to use running as their cardio workout, I'm remembering the highs I used to have. The first time I ran 20 minutes without walking. The first time I ran 5, 6, 8 miles. My first half marathon.  I remember the achievement, the feeling of accomplishment, the feeling of pride. 

These are the things I need to keep me going. No pant size or body fat percentage is going to keep me motivated. Food tastes better, regardless of how many times I read the "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" crap on Pinterest. Because guess what? Food.Tastes.Good.  Good food AND bad food, it tastes GOOD.  

I need these stories of accomplishment.

 It even helps me to read back through my OWN blog and remember how amazing it feels to finish a long run, to eat clean for 3 months straight (oh my gosh my body is DYING for healthy food!) and to feel GOOD about myself. 

And I need to get back to a place where I am making time, carving out a particular time for me to work out. I haven't worked out when that will be yet. I am NOT a morning person, but I am willing to attempt to get up early enough to go to the gym before work. It's worth a try to get back to where I was, where I want to be again!

Apparently I have all the drive in the world - but no get up and GO!

How do you, especially moms (both SAHM, working & everything in between) prioritize your health with your family in mind?

Always an excuse...

I feel like I keep finding excuses not to work out!

I was doing well with Insanity, I was actually starting to feel LESS sore, although I still stop at least 10 times a workout to say "are you freaking KIDDING me, Shaun T?"

And then Friday, a tornado. Seriously. A tornado hit my street.

We were right in the middle of that path.  Thankfully, we sustained no more damage than losing a few big trees and some of our chain link fence. We lost power Friday. We bought a generator (BEST.PURCHASE.EVER) a few years ago and had that running to at least save us from losing everything in the fridge/freezer. Power was out Friday around 8pm until Monday around 2am. No power kind of hindered my Insanity!

On top of that, our tv doesn't work! Although my AMAZING hubby has come up with a work around, something fried our tv during the storm.

Excuses, excuses. I know. But I am going to start again tomorrow! I liked where this was going, so long as I stop feeling like vomiting during/after every single workout!