July Challenge

I started following a new page on Facebook and they have been talking about a July challenge. I figured, I'm in the market for something new so why not? 

My first weigh in is tomorrow morning and here's hoping I can uphold my part of the team!  The group seems like a great accountability tool and one of the requirements is drinking half of your body weight in water a day! (As in, if you weigh 200 lbs, you have to drink 100oz of water).  That's a huge challenge, but I'm ready for it!

Bring it, July!! 

Majority says...

Find something new. 

Thanks for all of the responses, support and advice after my last post. The resounding majority of you said it's time to find something new, it's obvious I'm not happy.

So now I just need to brainstorm what I can do that will fit into that 4:30am time slot and will make me happy.  I'm toying with the idea of running (although my neighborhood is NOT good for running - running the whole thing only gets me about a mile, a mile and a half TOPS, before I start doing circles.)  I also have a few games on the Wii that I could do - Zumba, Biggest Loser, Pilates. 

So this week I am going to get back to getting up early (although I am off the majority of the week because my baby girl turns FIVE on Wednesday!) and trying out different things. I definitely plan on hitting the gym a few times, hopefully for some of my very favorite classes like kickboxing and cardio circuit. 

I need to get my eating in line again.  I log everything in MFP  but most days I'm over the allotted calories. After this week, I am going to sit down and start meal planning again.  I stopped at the store and bought massive amounts of veggies this week. My goal is to stop keeping such strict track of everything and to try moderation. I'm NOT good at moderation, if you haven't noticed. I need goals, number like goals, or else I just lose track of what I am supposed to be doing.    I am going to continue to track on MFP, I will start working out, but I'm no longer going to keep track of the other things I was tracking (sleep, water, drinks, etc).  It was just too much to keep up with. It's one thing to be accountable to someone, it's another to be so bureaucratic about it. 

I did register for the Halloween 10K the other day. My awesome friend C is going to come in and run it with me! Our tentative plan is to dress up as Super Moms. Our costumes will rock. My goal is sub 60. But since I haven't run since the Run in Color run in Evansville - who knows if that's realistic. I had an opportunity to run this morning when the kids were playing at the playground and it was REALLY not appealing to do it! I guess we'll see this week. :-) 

I went with Jen to try on my bridesmaid dress. You know, the one we ordered in February, before I started working, when I was at the gym 4 days a week, 2 hours a day...  Needless to say, it fit a BIT differently than it would have.  I can zip it (thankfully) but I certainly can't breathe when it's zipped. And I don't like the way it bunches around my waist/hips. So that is my motivation for the next 63 days. I even told my boss I was going to have the photo printed and put it in her candy drawer! Gentle reminders! :-) 

This picture is from last spring, but same bikes!

We did go on a lovely family bike ride today.  My husband took my son in the trailer and I had my daughter on the trail-along bike. It's not a bad workout, especially when she's "helping" ;-)  We went about 3 miles then stopped at the park and let the kids play. Then we headed back the same way but passed the car for an additional 1.5 miles. All told, our ride was 9 miles in about 55 minutes. Not speedy but we were out.  Hubby did make the observation that the calorie burn compared between running and biking is NOT comparable at all - it was about 260 calories for a 55 min ride.  NOT super athletic but I'm glad we got to go out as a family!

Gosh she looks so little here!

Push Through or Find Something New?

Well there's a lot of orange on my chart this week. As in failure.  But there's enough green that I'm going to keep trying. 

I woke up Tuesday and did Insanity. Then my hubby and I went on a date (yay!) but were out until 12:30. So when 4:30 rolled around Wednesday morning, my alarm went off and I actually DID wake up, I thought to myself "This is insane. I have to work all day and will be toooo crabby without sleep!" and went back to bed. 

So then Thursday I took the kids to the children's museum for the day and was completely exhausted by the end! I can't believe how wiped out I get at things like that! 

Friday I woke up again at 4:30. I had to work Friday and we were leaving to go camping for the weekend right after work. So when I woke up I had the conscious thought "I will be a COMPLETE crab tonight at camping if I don't sleep in."   I know, I know, I suck.  So I went back to sleep.

Saturday we were camping and went on a nice hike. As you can see, I walked over 20,000 steps that day! I ate like crap because I was camping, duh. :-) 

Sunday we packed up camp and headed home. We had some nasty storms here so we took the kiddos to see Monsters University (CUTE CUTE movie!). 

Today we took the kids to the zoo. We got there around 10 and left at 5! SUPER long day but a wonderful awesome family day. I am thankful to be able to have days like this with my family. 

So obviously from this week, we have learned that I am still not able to "eat clean" when I'm out and about. It's a hard choice for me to make still! Which is funny, since we've been doing it for almost 6 months. But it's a work in progress! 

I am planning to get up tomorrow morning to work out. I have the same issue tomorrow that I had last Tuesday - I have tickets to see a show (Shrek with my daughter) and will be out until easily 11pm. But I'm going to go with it, eat smart tomorrow and drink lots of coffee to get me through it all!

Again, going to refocus this week. 

Aiming for 6 days working out, 2-3 days allowed drinking, good eating all of them and steps over 10,000. 

The thing that kills me, and maybe the point of this whole post, is that I woke up on my scheduled days last week, looked at my phone, went to the bathroom - and went back to bed. I want to get to a place where I am EXCITED to work out. Maybe I need to find a new workout?  

Maybe Insanity isn't for everyone. 

I am just having such a hard time getting excited about it! I get excited about kickboxing, I love my classes at the Y.... I just haven't gotten fully on board with Insanity yet.  Here's hoping I can start sticking to it. 

I refuse to weigh in again officially until next week. With all the salt, sugar and junk I consumed, it will just depress me further.   How often do you weigh yourself? I get stuck in a vicious cycle of weighing myself everyday, noting even the smallest fluctuation.... it's borderline obsessive, which I KNOW isn't good. Jen has reminded me for years not to weigh in that often, but I just can't stop doing it! 

I remember loving weigh ins. I would weigh in every day just to see the number change (go down!) when I was working out regularly. And sometimes it was ok with me if the scale went up just a bit, because I was lifting and had a pretty fabulous routine that I knew would "bulk" me up some. I miss that. I'm terrified to have my body fat percentage taken again because it cannot have done anything but skyrocket!

So I will probably weigh myself every day this week, but I won't do an "official" weight check until next Monday.  Hopefully we'll see a change. 

Have you ever tried a workout that just doesn't "work" for you?  How did you handle it - push through or find something new? 

Days 6 & 7 - Reevaluation

Ok so today's a two-fer.

Saturday

• Bedtime will be 9pm on Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday. n/a
• Alcohol will be two nights a week (it's been getting a little out of hand! Definitely part of the lbs being packed on!) Drink night #3, oops. 
• If I miss a day of working out, I WILL NOT throw in the towel  Agree. This one is hard since I've been hurting since Thursday night. 
• Same as above, if I don't keep a PERFECTLY clean day, I will NOT take comfort in the candy dish. Yay! I had a s'more Saturday night - ONE s'more.
• Goal: 15,000 steps/day. If it means I march around my house for an hour before bed, so be it.  BAH. My FitBit was dead in the morning and I Forgot to put it on until about 1pm. So my total for the day was 3458. 

Saturday: Run - nope. Back still hurting pretty bad :(

Sunday

• Bedtime will be 9pm on Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday. n/a
• Alcohol will be two nights a week (it's been getting a little out of hand! Definitely part of the lbs being packed on!) None! I did try a sip of a new beer at our favorite restaurant, but didn't have a full glass of it. So three days total this week, only breaking my "rule" by 1. 
• If I miss a day of working out, I WILL NOT throw in the towel. The pain is almost gone today and we were supposed to go on a nice family bike ride. however when we woke up it was pouring rain and when the sun came out, the temp went up to 90 and the humidity was UNBEARABLE! We did some walking around the mall but that was the extent of it. I am, however, very anxious to get back to the gym tomorrow to test out my back. If all is well, I'll be doing my two classes in the AM and kickboxing in the evening.
• Same as above, if I don't keep a PERFECTLY clean day, I will NOT take comfort in the candy dish. The s'more last night whetted my appetite for sweets, I could tell that this morning. I fought myself all day not to sneak a Hershey's kiss or to drink a Fitz's root beer. But I didn't do it! I did have some pineapple to cut the sweet tooth. 
• Goal: 15,000 steps/day. If it means I march around my house for an hour before bed, so be it. 6,360 today.

Sunday: Insanity - nursing the back pain. Tomorrow I'm back to it.

Thanks for sticking with me this week! Thank you for all of the encouragement, the texts in the morning and the check-ins on how I'm doing. I had a discouraging day today. I went to grab some more work clothes and didn't fit into almost anything. But I did get a cute dress to wear to Jen's rehearsal dinner! Yay! I can see the changes that have been made in a short week of "making it work." That is making me want to try harder!

• I'm going to be more diligent about the bedtime. 
• I am going to lower my steps. Let's see if I can hit 10,000 everyday this week and what I need to do to get there and THEN we'll raise it up! 
• I'm going to add: 
• Drink 100oz of water/day
• Stay away from negative self talk. <-- Since I posted about body image last week, 3-4 other articles have come through my FB and Twitter feeds. I've been passing them along on those sites, but it just strikes me how many there have been! It seems as though I'm supposed to get something from it. Kind of makes you say Hmmmm doesn't it?   So this is going to be a new addition to my accountability list! I don't know exactly how to quantify it, but I am going to try to recognize those moments when I do it, and stop myself. Accepting compliments without making excuses, not changing my clothes 20 times even after everyone tells me I look fine in what I have on, definitely not talking about these things in front of my kiddos....  These will be my victories.

So next week's check in will look more like this: 

Bedtime before 9:30:

Alcohol (?/2): 

Workout: 

Eating: 

Steps: 

Water: 

Self-talk: 

Day 5. Slipping but not drowning.

• Bedtime will be 9pm on Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday.  n/a, yay weekends!
• Alcohol will be two nights a week (it's been getting a little out of hand! Definitely part of the lbs being packed on!) Wine tonight. This is night two and I guarantee I will be having something tomorrow night because we are having a bbq with friends, so fail. But see two bullets down....
• If I miss a day of working out, I WILL NOT throw in the towel 
• Same as above, if I don't keep a PERFECTLY clean day, I will NOT take comfort in the candy dish. I'm not giving up just because I slipped on one front!! I forgot to take lunch to work today, thinking I could make it through (hoping for a short day, silly me ;-)  I started shaking around 2:30 and headed out. I was as good as I could be at a grocery store deli - a grilled Asian chicken breast and 1/4 lb of poppyseed cole slaw. And a great new snack, these yummies! 
• Goal: 15,000 steps/day. If it means I march around my house for an hour before bed, so be it. Bwahahaha. Amendment: 10,000. Even still, I'm at 6692 right now. Probably not hitting 10K today either! But here's to a weekend of family fun!

Friday: Off

I DEFINITELY took my rest day seriously today. My back is so sore and achy... I just can't stand the thought of this taking weeks to heal, so I am really hopeful that I can kick the pain sooner rather than later. Aleve, muscle cream and hot water have helped so far. 

Just hoping to be able to get back to Insanity tomorrow, but let's be honest - if my back hurts, I'm not going for it. But it is the weekend and we can probably find the time to take a nice long walk as a family, which could get me to my 10K steps for sure!

The good news? I weighed in at 161.5 on Monday. This morning I weighed in at 157.5! So the changes I've made are obviously working.  I just need to stick with them long enough that they become routine! 

Day 4, a day late.

• Bedtime will be 9pm on Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday.  n/a for Thursday :-) 
• Alcohol will be two nights a week (it's been getting a little out of hand! Definitely part of the lbs being packed on!) None
• If I miss a day of working out, I WILL NOT throw in the towel  Kickboxing FTW
• Same as above, if I don't keep a PERFECTLY clean day, I will NOT take comfort in the candy dish. I had a piece of primal fudge but nothing else "bad" 
• Goal: 15,000 steps/day. If it means I march around my house for an hour before bed, so be it.  11,250. Starting to think 15,000 is unattainable for a "normal" day, especially with my workouts being more stationary with the Insanity videos....

Thursday: Insanity AM or during the day Kickboxing.

Sure am happy Friday is an 'off' day because I hurt my back again during kickboxing! I think it has to do with the size of the room! On Mondays we are in a small room and are all sardined in. But Thursdays we are in a bigger room and I think there are less people. I think I am hyper-extending, especially when kicking backwards, which is causing me SEVERE back pain!! 

Day 3: ooohhh soooo sleepy

So the 4:30 wakeups have started catching up with me! I'm also trying to drink more water/less coffee so maybe that is the cause of my exhaustion today. (??) I know I was more irritable for sure (wanted to trip the guy walking around my cube at work talking on his cell phone for a half hour!) and sooo tired!

• Bedtime will be 9pm on Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday.  Ugh, 10 now. 9 may be a bit unrealistic for me!
• Alcohol will be two nights a week (it's been getting a little out of hand! Definitely part of the lbs being packed on!) One of my two tonight! Yum! Shiraz is even better when I'm not drinking it so often :-)
• If I miss a day of working out, I WILL NOT throw in the towel  Nope!! Woke up at 4:30 and finished Insanity Pure Cardio!
• Same as above, if I don't keep a PERFECTLY clean day, I will NOT take comfort in the candy dish.  No candy! I did have about 1Tbsp of flavored creamer today in my coffee (see the first paragraph about being exhausted... :-) 
• Goal: 15,000 steps/day. If it means I march around my house for an hour before bed, so be it.  9,600 as of 10:04pm, but I may be able to wander around enough to hit 10,000. 15,000 will be hard tonight :( 

Wednesday: Insanity AM DONE! although I must admit I'm disappointed that after I drip sweat for 45 minutes, my FitBit only gives me 275 calories burned! I feel like it burns a WHOLE LOT MORE :-) 

Day 2. Baby steps!

Thanks to my lovely early rising friends who sent me FB messages and texts at 4:30 this am, I woke up and did Insanity! And thankfully it was Cardio Recovery because I am so sore I don't think I could have managed ANYTHING ELSE! My back, my legs, my shoulders, my abs - all killing me. And I am loving EVERY second of it!

• Bedtime will be 9pm on Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday.  10:19 now and haven't gotten ready. Fail. 
• Alcohol will be two nights a week (it's been getting a little out of hand! Definitely part of the lbs being packed on!) None tonight!
• If I miss a day of working out, I WILL NOT throw in the towel I worked out this morning at 5! Woop woop!
• Same as above, if I don't keep a PERFECTLY clean day, I will NOT take comfort in the candy dish. I did pretty well today. I'm well under my calorie goal and didn't "cheat"
• Goal: 15,000 steps/day. If it means I march around my house for an hour before bed, so be it. Fail. I'm at 6,116 and only plan on walking from my chair to the bathroom to get ready for bed, then into bed. Still hoping to wake up tomorrow am, even with the late bedtime!

Tuesday: Insanity AM Done!

3/5 goals met isn't too bad, odds are in my favor. And tomorrow is another day!

Operation: Accountability Day 1 :)

Survived day 1 :)

• Bedtime will be 9pm on Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday. Fail- in bed by 9:30 tonight though! 
• Alcohol will be two nights a week (it's been getting a little out of hand! Definitely part of the lbs being packed on!) none tonight! 
• If I miss a day of working out, IWILL NOT throw in the towel n/a I worked out twice today! 
• Same as above, if I don't keep a PERFECTLY clean day, I will NOT take comfort in the candy dish. I did pretty well with my eating
• Goal: 15,000 steps/day. If it means I march around my house for an hour before bed, so be it. 17,003 is my total! 

Monday: Circuit & Kickboxing check! 

Today was great! I discovered a new smoothie that I like (weird because I HATE smoothies as a rule) and worked out twice! My 2 classes in the morning then my kickboxing class at night.

Feeling good. It felt awesome to be back to my classes- it was like going home!

Small victory: took the kids to Dairy Queen to meet some friends and I didn't order anything for me, not did I steal any of the kids' ice cream! 

I need to add "drink 100oz water/day minimum" to my list of new rules!

Accountability (AKA What I Need)

I need to get my butt in gear. Seriously people, I weighed in at 160 this week. NOT a pretty sight. I am going to make this a priority now.

New Rules

• Bedtime will be 9pm on Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday. 
• Alcohol will be two nights a week (it's been getting a little out of hand! Definitely part of the lbs being packed on!)
• If I miss a day of working out, I WILL NOT throw in the towel 
• Same as above, if I don't keep a PERFECTLY clean day, I will NOT take comfort in the candy dish. 
• Goal: 15,000 steps/day. If it means I march around my house for an hour before bed, so be it. 

Monday: Circuit & Kickboxing

Tuesday: Insanity AM

Wednesday: Insanity AM

Thursday: Insanity AM or during the day

Friday: Off

Saturday: Run

Sunday: Insanity

My reality check for the day: 

June 9, 2013

Heck, forget a year ago. Here's a few WEEKS ago:

So it'll take me longer, since I'm working now. 

Scheduling will be critical to my success. Working only 20 hours a week seems like I should be able to work out before or after work without getting in the way, but I am NOT a morning person so going to the gym before 8 is probably a no-go.  I tried leaving work at 2pm on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, but I CAN'T do it. I have a problem leaving work in the middle of a project. And around 2pm? I seem to ALWAYS be in the middle of something! 

So I will set an alarm. Maybe 2.

I WILL get up those mornings at 4:30 and do Insanity. 

I WILL get back to clean eating so that I can stop feeling like gross trash. 

I can't keep being surrounded by people who are rocking it without doing my fair share of rocking. So here goes. I miss being one of the rock stars. It's time to ditch the lazy attitude I've had and the bad eating habits. It's time to feel GOOD again and I am the ONLY person who can make that happen.  

I know I CAN do it. I just need to get up and go to actually ACCOMPLISH it. And I will. I've lost 30+ lbs in the last 2 years. Staying at goal weight has been the hardest part of the whole journey!

So here's to goals. And dreams. And being healthy. And teaching my KIDS about healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle!

A Must-Read

I have body image issues. Obviously, it's been years and I'm still not "there" (where I want to be, wherever that is.) I swing from overly concerned to completely unconcerned but still self loathing.  I do try, especially now that I have an almost-5-year old daughter, not to be "obvious" about it. I do not want her to have the image issues that I have. 

My mom sent me this article today, Passing On Body Hatred. It was really hard for me to read this because I can identify with so much of it. I spend a lot of time trying to teach my daughter about a healthy lifestyle that includes smart choices with regard to food and keeping active. She's run several races of her own, she LOVES her "running outfit" and I hope that those are the things she is remembering. 

But I can't hide everything. Changing three times before work because nothing fits right, lamenting that I haven't worked out in X amount of time and sometimes being just downright disappointed in myself for my progress (or lack thereof). 

This is a great reminder to me to be mindful of not only how I treat my daughter but how I treat myself in front of her. 

How do you approach a healthy lifestyle with your kids? 

Love/Hate

If it's not been obvious in the past, I have a love/hate relationship with running. 

I love how I feel after a long run - accomplished, fit, energized.  I love how it has made me stronger. I love how I lose weight from my hips, where I could never lose it any other way before I started running. 

But I hate running too. I hate how I feel DURING a run. I hate the self-conscious feeling I get about my "form."  I hate living in a neighborhood I can't run through, causing me to have to drive somewhere just to put on my shoes and run for a distance. 

I am a member of a Facebook group with a bunch of women who are rock stars. No, serious rock stars. Some have lost 50+ lbs, some have just started working out but are kicking butt. Some are pregnant and still doing full CrossFit workouts!  Same love/hate. I LOVE the motivation & inspiration. I hate myself for not getting up and doing more, for making excuses and for not making my health a priority.

As some of the girls are starting to use running as their cardio workout, I'm remembering the highs I used to have. The first time I ran 20 minutes without walking. The first time I ran 5, 6, 8 miles. My first half marathon.  I remember the achievement, the feeling of accomplishment, the feeling of pride. 

These are the things I need to keep me going. No pant size or body fat percentage is going to keep me motivated. Food tastes better, regardless of how many times I read the "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" crap on Pinterest. Because guess what? Food.Tastes.Good.  Good food AND bad food, it tastes GOOD.  

I need these stories of accomplishment.

 It even helps me to read back through my OWN blog and remember how amazing it feels to finish a long run, to eat clean for 3 months straight (oh my gosh my body is DYING for healthy food!) and to feel GOOD about myself. 

And I need to get back to a place where I am making time, carving out a particular time for me to work out. I haven't worked out when that will be yet. I am NOT a morning person, but I am willing to attempt to get up early enough to go to the gym before work. It's worth a try to get back to where I was, where I want to be again!

Apparently I have all the drive in the world - but no get up and GO!

How do you, especially moms (both SAHM, working & everything in between) prioritize your health with your family in mind?

Always an excuse...

I feel like I keep finding excuses not to work out!

I was doing well with Insanity, I was actually starting to feel LESS sore, although I still stop at least 10 times a workout to say "are you freaking KIDDING me, Shaun T?"

And then Friday, a tornado. Seriously. A tornado hit my street.

We were right in the middle of that path.  Thankfully, we sustained no more damage than losing a few big trees and some of our chain link fence. We lost power Friday. We bought a generator (BEST.PURCHASE.EVER) a few years ago and had that running to at least save us from losing everything in the fridge/freezer. Power was out Friday around 8pm until Monday around 2am. No power kind of hindered my Insanity!

On top of that, our tv doesn't work! Although my AMAZING hubby has come up with a work around, something fried our tv during the storm.

Excuses, excuses. I know. But I am going to start again tomorrow! I liked where this was going, so long as I stop feeling like vomiting during/after every single workout!